Let’s talk about overcoming victim mentality.
Life is full of opportunities to either find a way or an excuse. Every person has been gifted the ability to overcome adversity, but it’s up to the individual to believe that they’re capable of doing so.
For a long time, I believed that the tragedies that I experienced made me powerless. It felt like everything and everyone was against me, especially God.
Just because I had a “bad” start, doesn’t mean that I have to continue living from that place. And neither do you.
In this post, you’ll learn the root cause of victim mentality, signs of the victim mindset, how to break the cycle of victim behavior, and more!
This post is all about overcoming victim mentality.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
What Is Victim Mentality
A victim’s mentality is when you take no responsibility for things that happen in your life. It’s when you have allowed your circumstances to be an excuse for why you’ve settled and your behavior.
To anyone who has adopted a victim’s mentality, solutions to problems are often met with excuses of why they won’t work.
Or when their attempts don’t immediately rectify the situation, they want to throw in the towel.
Because you were made in God’s image, you have an obligation to overcome the victim’s mentality.
You were designed to partner with God and believe that you were someone before anything happened to you on this Earth.
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Signs of The Victim Mindset
You won’t enjoy every aspect of life and that’s the harsh reality I had to face when realizing that life isn’t a fairytale or a Disney movie.
The first step to solving any problem is to identify and acknowledge that you have one.
Here are some signs that you have a victim mentality:
- Perpetual cycles of self-pity.
- Blaming others and/or God for problems.
- Using unfortunate events as an excuse to why you can’t do something.
- The belief that others are intentionally trying to hurt you.
- Avoiding responsibility and settling for something beneath your purpose.
- Thinking that God is going to do all the work for you.
- Praying without exercising any faith.
- Feeling like the world is against you.
- Asking questions like “what did I do to deserve this”?
- Believing that everyone else has it easier than you.
- Fixation on negative events or trauma.
- Living in the past and always speaking of “the good old days”.
- Lack of empathy for yourself and others.
- Feeling the need to defend yourself all the time.
- Strong sense of entitlement as if God or others owe you something.
- Highly critical of self and others.
{RELATED POST: How To Be Content In Life Through Every Season}
What Is The Root Cause Of Victim Mentality
There are various causes of victim’s mentality, but the root of it is generational. It’s as old as Adam and Eve.
Having a victim’s mentality can also be learned and developed from experiencing abuse.
For me, this mentality began in childhood as a result of sexual and emotional abuse as well as neglect. It continued to get worse as I engaged in escapism and avoidance as ways to cope.
The truth is no one is born a victim. Every one of us was actually born to be more than conquerors and to re-discover our true identity in Christ.
What Does The Bible Say About Victim Mentality
Being a victim keeps you from seeing yourself as you really are. The Bible itself opposes victim mentality.
Many books of the Bible feature humans who almost gave into the victim mentality. In Genesis, we see Adam and Eve not take responsibility for their actions and blame someone else.
We also get to see Moses in the same book who basically tried to persuade God to use someone else.
All of these people had one thing in common: They allowed their circumstances to tell them who they were instead of allowing their innate knowledge of God to reign truth.
Here are some scriptures you can use to remind you of who you are so that victim mentality can be a thing of the past:
Ephesians 1:4
For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight.
1 Corinthians 2:16
For who has understood the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.
1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.
Matthew 5:14
You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.
2 Corinthians 5:20
Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
Psalm 82:6
I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High.
Romans 8:33
Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.
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How To Break The Cycle Of Victim Mentality
Overcoming victim mentality isn’t a job that you have to do alone. It was God who got you started on this journey and it will be Him to bring it to completion in Christ Jesus.
Allow God to walk with you on this new adventure and always remember that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
1. Acknowledge That You’re Experiencing A Victim’s Mentality
1 John 1:9 NIV-If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
First things first, you have to be honest with yourself about where you are.
If you’re not able to acknowledge that you’re experiencing a victim mentality, you won’t be able to be free from it.
2. Take Responsibility For Your Actions
Galatians 6:4-5 NIV-Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.
Self-awareness and accountability are enemies to victimhood.
There are some situations in life that you couldn’t control. Like if you were abused as a child.
But there are other situations where you played a role in the circumstance. Once you come to terms with this truth and begin to identify your role; you will be on your way to fixing your mentality.
For example, a couple years ago I was betrayed by a friend. I knew some shady things were happening and I even had dreams of the betrayal before I saw it with my own eyes.
I didn’t ask to be betrayed, but I do have to acknowledge that I ignored the signs that were there. It’s okay to be angry about the circumstances, but it’s not okay to cast all the blame on someone when you actively participated in some way.
Even though I was the one who was betrayed, I had to take responsibility for the part I played in the situation.
3. Give Everything To God
1 Peter 5:7 NIV-Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
There are parts of your life where you don’t remember what happened to you, but God does. Experiencing trauma causes our brains to block out parts of our lives that felt too painful.
The brain does this to protect us so it’s safe to say that only God remembers all. If you were to try to get yourself out of a victim’s mentality, you could be trying to do this your entire life.
Instead, my advice to you would be to give it over to God. He is always working things out for your good even if you don’t necessarily see it.
4. Understand Who You Are
Genesis 1:26 NIV-Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
Knowing who you are in Christ is key to overcoming a victim mentality. When you know who you are, your situations and circumstances have no chance of telling you who you are.
Bestie you’re not a victim.
- Your real life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).
- You are the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
- You are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
- You are a friend of Jesus (Romans 5:11)
- You are a masterpiece (Ephesian 2:10)
- You are loved (John 15:9)
- You are a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9).
5. Give Yourself Grace To Grow
2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV-And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.
I must admit: Grace has always been hard for me. Growing up with a critical parent made it difficult to understand that I didn’t have to know everything.
If you grew up with a critical or abusive parent, then you need to begin to distinguish their voice from your own.
Grace isn’t something that comes from being nice to yourself; you must allow God’s grace to flow onto you. You do this by accepting what He has already done for you.
Grace is one of those things you have to ask God to help you to receive and give to yourself. Once you receive it, you have to practice giving it to yourself.
Remember you just learned that you have a victim’s mentality so it won’t go away fully in a couple of months. Give your mind some time to process this and allow yourself to just enjoy the process of unlearning.
As you walk with God in overcoming victim’s mentality, I pray that you begin to see yourself as He sees you. May you begin to abound in the love of Christ so richly that others want a love similar to yours.
This post was all about overcoming victim mentality.
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What To Do When Your Family Rejects You
Before You Go…
A quick recap of breaking the cycle of a victim’s mentality:
- Acknowledge that you’re experiencing a victim’s mentality
- Take responsibility for your actions
- Give everything to God
- Understand who you are
- Give yourself grace to grow
Breaking the cycle of victim’s mentality will take effort. I will admit that there are times when I’m acting like a victim. But there comes a time when you have to take your rightful place in Christ. Bestie….we can do this. Which step do you find most challenging? Let’s talk about it in the comments down below.
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Always remember that you’re destined to win because He got up!
-Devyn Janae
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