Rejection from family can cut the deepest. If you’ve been rejected by your family, this post will help you.
Being rejected by family can cause a deep wound in your heart. If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent years wondering why when all you ever wanted was to be loved.
The silence, abandonment, harsh words, feelings of never belonging, or being enough is just the start of the emotional weight that being rejected can bring.
I want to speak to your inner child when I say this next thing: Yes, they were supposed to love you unconditionally, but they missed the mark because they are human too.
The rejection wasn’t your fault, but you’re now responsible for your healing. May the pain you’re carrying be released and used for purpose in Jesus’ name.
This post is all about rejection from family.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
What Does It Mean To Be Rejected By Family
God loves you and I know that may be difficult to believe depending on where you are in life. Nevertheless, it’s true now and it was true back then.
While the pain of being rejected is very real, you must know that this doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable or disposable.
You may have had intrusive thoughts telling you horrible things, but none of the negativity is true.
Being rejected by family means that you experienced:
- A lack of love.
- A lack of acceptance.
- A lack of support .
The rejection could’ve manifested in ways from emotional rejection to full on estrangement.
Whatever type of rejection it was, know that there is room for healing.
Through Christ, you can overcome anything.
Reflection Question: What if this rejection happened so that you could clearly see the One who will never reject you?
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The Emotional And Spiritual Impact Of Family Rejection
Family rejection has a greater impact on your emotional and spiritual well-being than any other rejection.
Here are some ways it may have impacted you:
1. Distorted View Of God
1 John 4:20 NIV-Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
How do you actually see God? My relationship with my family affected how I saw God tremendously.
Especially my relationship with my earthly father.
At times, I still have to remind myself that God isn’t human. He isn’t looking to reject me because He created me for Himself.
Being rejected by your family may have caused you to believe that God will eventually reject you.
But you have to get to know His character and your position in Him.
Reflection Question: What beliefs about God do you have based on how you’ve been treated?
Truths About God:
- God made you in His image after His likeness (Genesis 1:26).
- God will never reject you nor leave you (Psalm 94:14).
- God is NOT people.
{RELATED POST: What To Do When Family Rejects You}
2. Difficulty Forming Relationships
Proverbs 27:17 ESV-Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Relationships have always been a challenge for me. I believe it’s because I allowed the rejection to shape my world view.
Rejection can have a huge impact on your attachment style which describes how you relate to others.
For some of us being rejected, makes us want to isolate to avoid getting hurt again.
Others, it causes them to become clingy in hopes to never be abandoned.
Each attachment style can reveal where God wants to heal you.
Reflection Question: Do you know your attachment style? Take the free quiz HERE.
3. Feelings Of Unworthiness
Psalm 62:5-6 NIV-Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Low self-esteem is common when dealing with family rejection. I have blamed myself and been through many cycles of self-loathing because of it.
What I realized after some time is that the rejection was God’s way to break up a faulty foundation.
Your identity was never meant to be in your family. It was always meant to be in God.
You were sent to this Earth as someone who was worthy before the rejection occurred.
Reflection Question: How can you work on placing your identity in Christ?
4. Stunted Personal Growth
Proverbs 3:5-8 NIV-Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
Personal growth is essential to one’s being, but when you’re rejected it can be stunted. It’s hard for me to emotionally connect to others.
It’s not because I don’t want to, but it’s because I lack trust in people. What about you?
{RELATED POST: Turning Negative Thoughts Into Positive Thoughts}
Areas You May Need To Improve In:
- Trusting God and self
- Trusting God through others
- Planning and Executing
- Selflessness
In this life, we’ll have to learn to trust God. This means that we also have to trust people to a certain extent.
None of us can get anywhere alone. That’s just not the way God set it up.
Reflection Question: What personal growth area do you need to improve in the most?
{RELATED POST: 10 Reasons To Trust God}
5. Depression And Anxiety
Psalm 34:18 NIV-The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Depression and anxiety accompany rejection the most. I deal with both of these mental health conditions.
The good news is that I know that the Lord is in it with me. The Bible says that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
The things you are going through are drawing the Lord closer to you.
Don’t allow this to cause you to give up! Let depression and anxiety be evidence that God will lead you out of this.
Use the resources offered to you and keep believing for the best.
You do deserve the very best!
Reflection Question: What positives do you see in your life right now?
{RELATED POST: 11 Must-Have Items To Help With Depression}
What Does The Bible Say About Rejection From Family
The Bible speaks to your situation better than any friend or family member could. Let God’s word wash over you as you read and meditate on these verses.
Before you know it, you’ll begin to know how God has always embraced you as His own.
Here are five scriptures picked out just for you:
- Isaiah 53:3-He was despised and rejected by mankind. A man of suffering and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces; he was despised and we held him in low esteem.
- Psalm 27:10-Even of my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.
- Isaiah 43:3-5-For I am the Lord your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you. I will give people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid for I am with you. I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
- John 1:11-13-He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, those who believed in his name…he gave the right to become children of God. Children born not of natural descent, nor human decision or husband’s will, but born of God.
- Matthew 11:28-30-Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
Reflection Question: Which scripture speaks to you the most?
How To Respond To Rejection From Family
The natural response to rejection is to remove yourself completely from the situation. But what if God is using this hard situation to break generational curses through you?
God usually chooses one person to preserve the bloodline and that person is YOU.
I didn’t get a chance to leave my parent’s home as of yet.
I believe it’s because God wants to do something HUGE in me and in them.
3 Ways To Treat Family Who Rejected You
1. Keep Loving As You’re Commanded To
John 13:34-35 ESV-A new commandment I give to you that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.
Rejection doesn’t give us the green light to stop loving. I got to a point where I said “I give up on these people”.
But love never gives up (1 Corinthians 13:8 NIV).
My way of loving them has to be readjusted, but I have to continue to be who I am.
You’re God-given character is one of love. It’s different for you because you are in this world, but not of it.
Reflection Question: Will you believe and trust God to work this out for good?
{RELATED POST: Learning To Trust God: A Guide For The New Believer}
2. Never Match Their Energy
Romans 12:17-19 NKJV-Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good thing in the light of all men. If it is possible as much as depends on you, love peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath for it is written: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” says the Lord.
Since they rejected me, I longed for the day to do the same to them. If I am doing what was done to me, then who will break the cycle?
Remember the purpose of rejection is to break up a faulty foundation.
Rejection is for you to go to your Father more. It’s not a permission slip for revenge.
Again, you are in this world and not of it. You are of a different standard.
Reflection Question: Really think. How would matching their energy display Christ?
{RELATED POST: Trusting God Beyond Emotion}
3. Allow Your Love To Grow
1 Corinthians 16:14 ESV-Let all you do be done in love.
Everything started in Love and love will be the thing that lasts forever (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV).
I asked myself today “What if the enemy is trying to steal my ability to love?”
What if it never was about the emotional rejection?
As you walk with God through this, promise yourself that you will not allow ANYONE to steal your core ingredient.
God is love and you were created in His image after His likeness. Let the pain that you experience be used for purpose.
If you don’t know your purpose, continuously pursue God for it.
And NEVER forget that you are loved.
Reflection Question: What would happen if you started to see rejection from family God’s way?
The truth is…God handpicked the families we would be in. I personally believe that we agreed before arriving on Earth because deep down inside we already knew that through Christ we would overcome. This life is just a huge lesson, a way to physically experience God, and remember that we are one with Him. To overcome family rejection…we have to trust Him. The Everyday Trust Fall Mini Bundle was designed to help us to embrace His loving hand. Click the image below to get yours today!
7 Tips To Heal When You Experience Rejection From Family
1. Acknowledge The Hurt
1 Peter 5:7 NLT-Give all your worries and cares to God because he cares about you.
Whatever you’re feelings are towards this, it’s okay to acknowledge them each time they come up.
What I started to do is write my feelings down to practice giving them to God.
I realized that it didn’t matter how many times I would be hurt by the same thing.
What mattered most is that I would cast my cares unto Him. This is a part of the healing.
You may find that you have to rehash the same hurt over and over again.
But then you’ll look up and be healed.
2. Pray For Those Who Persecute You
Matthew 5:44 AMP-But I say to you, love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
Those closest to you are often those who persecute you the most. For me, it was and sometimes still is my own parents.
It’s aggravating that God wants me to continue to pray for them, but their His children too.
If you only love those you deem as “lovable”, then what good is that?
Your parents, aunties, uncles, cousins, or siblings may have wronged you, but God cares about them.
If you are one with God that means that you are to care about them too.
Your hurt isn’t bigger than God’s divine purpose for humanity.
It’s time to think outside of yourself and trust that God has you covered.
You’re not alone in this.
3. Seek God For Guidance
Psalm 32:8 AMP-I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you [who are willing to learn] with My eye upon you.
This is something new that you’re navigating.
It’s okay to admit that you don’t know what to do. Continue to pray and ask God for wisdom.
Also when you receive information about this subject, filter it through God’s word.
4. Process Your Feelings
Matthew 6:6 NIV-But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Prayer is the number one way to process your feelings with God. I find that journaling my prayers before saying them aloud is helpful.
I may not always know what to say, but things become clearer when I write. God is always looking to lead us in the right direction.
Next time your emotions are heightened, try to write at least three things you’re grateful for.
This will help you to open yourself up more to God.
5. Reframe The Rejection
Philippians 4:8 ESV-Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Rejection has a purpose. This revelation helps me to escape the victim’s mentality.
I’m never alone in anything I go through and neither are you.
What if you were to re-imagine being with Christ through the rejection? Yes you will still feel it, but pain has to pay you!
That’s one of the perks of being connected to Christ.
6. Remind Yourself That It Isn’t Personal
Isaiah 53:10 NIV-Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
None of the things you have went through are personal. It may feel personal, but all of this is a part of a bigger picture.
Think about it: Without rejection, would you have been able to see God’s acceptance?
Jesus went through the same sufferings which is why He is able to help you (Hebrews 4:15 NIV).
The amazing thing about this is that because you’re sharing in His suffering, you will also share in His glory.
What Is His Glory?
Well first, His glory is now! It’s in:
- You having the opportunity to know Him through this!
- Your healing, deliverance, and breakthrough!
- The knowledge you’re gaining!
- The people who will be touched by your experience!
- Your bloodline being set free!
- The creative ways you get to share your story!
- Your character being more like Him!
- And more!
Many will be blessed because you decided to be with Christ and not quit!
7. Forgive Often
Colossians 3:13 NLT-Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Forgiveness is a gift to the other person, but it’s also the key to release you from bondage. If I’m honest, I forgive then want revenge then try to forgive again.
God gives grace for all of this because it’s a part of the process.
This walk with Christ will require you to forgive an infinite amount of times. Sometimes you won’t want to, but that’s when you have to ask Him to help you.
You may still be angry, but that isn’t always an indication that you haven’t forgiven. Check out this post for more on that.
Remember you’re not alone in this. God is with you giving you the desire and the power to do what is pleasing to Him.
My prayer is that the words in this post have helped you. May the Holy Spirit hug you through this post. As someone who is currently walking through this, I am so glad that God has given me the words to speak to not only my situation, but millions of other’s situations. Rejection from family will not take you out and it will not consume you in Jesus name.
This post was all about rejection from family.
If You Enjoyed This Post, You’ll Love These:
7 Keys To Improve Low Self-Esteem
How To Be Content In Life Through Every Season
4 Best Ways To Stop Intrusive Thoughts
What To Do When Your Family Rejects You
Forgiving Yourself: 5 Steps to Forgive Yourself God’s Way
Before You Go…
A quick recap of tips to heal from family rejection:
- Acknowledge the hurt
- Pray for those who persecute you
- Seek God for guidance
- Process your feelings
- Reframe the rejection
- Remind yourself that it isn’t personal
- Forgive often
Family rejection is tough, but healing is possible. Keep believing God and reciting His promises over your life. Which tip did you find most helpful? Let’s chat about it in the comments down below.
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Always remember that you’re destined to win because He got up!
-Devyn Janae
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