Hey Bestie! Let’s talk about how to forgive when you are still angry.
I remember how I used pray to God for revenge. At that time, I was fresh out of a situationship and forgiveness couldn’t be further.
What God showed me during that time was that although I was angry He could show me how to forgive. Before I knew it, I was praying for the guy’s redemption instead of revenge.
Today we are going to walk through how you can forgive even though you’re still angry.
This post will be all about how to forgive when you’re still angry.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
Can You Forgive Someone And Still Be Angry
Some people say that if you’re still angry then you haven’t truly forgiven. I totally disagree.
Forgiveness isn’t a feeling or an emotion. It’s an act or a will of faith to release a person into God’s hands.
It’s something that’s meant to be given. Emotions, on the other hand, indicate that something shifted and that you’re in need of something.
The feeling of anger often arises when we feel violated, unheard, or powerless. What we do with that anger determines the consequence.
So yes, it’s possible to forgive someone and still be angry. The moment you make a decision to release someone who hurt you into God’s hands; you’re practicing forgiveness.
Your emotions will always need time to process and catch up with your decision.
Remember forgiveness isn’t a feeling. Two things can exist at once because decisions do tend to affect how we feel.
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Why Am I Still Angry After I’ve Forgiven
Anger is one of the primary emotions according to psychology. The best way that I can describe it is that it’s like a fence trying to protect the yard of your heart.
This emotion is often mistaken for other emotions.
Beneath the surface of anger, you may find that you’re sad, disappointed, feeling rejected, abandoned, hurt, fearful, jealous, frustrated or even unprotected.
The most debilitating feeling that lies under anger is the need to grieve what has happened.
If you’re still feeling angry, you may need to allow God to walk with you through the five stages of grief.
5 Stages Of Grief
The five stages of grief are denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance.
Let’s unpack the five stages together:
1. Denial
Denial occurs when you’re grappling with new information that suddenly causes a shift or change.
It’s like when you get closer to God and He reveals that that person is no longer supposed to be in your life.
Denial is when you hear or discern the Spirit’s voice. But you second guess it because you don’t want to believe it’s true.
God told me to let go of my ex, but I was in denial.
Check out the story time HERE.
2. Anger
This seems to be where many of us get stuck. Sometimes it takes a while for us to actually admit that we’re hurt or angry.
The pride inside of us wants to appear unbothered and unaffected, but no one’s heart is hidden from God.
Anger is a natural response to being fragrantly fouled, abused, or disappointed. It isn’t ungodly to experience an emotion that God gave you.
It’s what you decide to do with the anger that makes it either righteous or unrighteous.
{RELATED POST: Forgiving Yourself: 5 Steps To Forgive Yourself God’s Way}
3. Bargaining
When you’re in pain, you start to try anything to get out of it. Pain isn’t a punishment. It’s evidence that something needs to be pushed out.
People used to tell me that in order to get over the guy, I had to get under another. This advice is horrible.
If you are dealing with anger, please don’t try to run from it.
It’s better to walk through it with God and heal than to self-sabotage.
4. Depression
In the five stages of grief, depression is a little different. After a loss, there is a part of you that feels empty.
You felt this hole before which is why you tried to fill it with other things. All of the relationships, food, sex, and social media couldn’t sustain you.
The hole in your heart could only be filled by God.
What if you had to go through this to recognize the truth and also go inward?
A dent is a hollow mark on the surface that pushes inward. Maybe this dent (or depression) is an opportunity to be filled with God’s Spirit.
{RELATED POST:11 Must-Have Items To Help With Depression}
5. Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean that you’re okay with what took place. It means that you’re in the process of embracing a new normal.
You made the decision to not allow what has happened to rob you of what God is doing. You’re rewriting the narrative by extracting the lessons.
This is why I’m able to share with you today and soon you will be doing the same.
Once you learn to accept God’s forgiveness, it’s time to give some of that forgiveness to yourself. God gives us forgiveness so that we can forgive ourselves and eventually forgive others. Remember that we can only love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves. The same principle applies to forgiveness. When you’re ready to extend God’s forgiveness to yourself, click the image below to get your Forgiving Yourself Mini Bundle. This bundle is designed for you to start the process of forgiving yourself God’s way.
How To Release Anger God’s Way
Anger is the emotion that you feel when you’ve been wronged or have experienced injustice.
It’s not wrong to feel anger because God gave you this emotion.
Here are a few tips to release anger in a healthy way:
1. Feel The Anger Without Acting On It
Ecclesiastes 7:9 AMPC-Do not be quick in spirit to be angry or vexed, for anger and vexation lodge in the bosom of fools.
Usually when you run from or suppress an emotion, you remain in it. It may seem like it has gone away, but it’s just stored up for the next moment.
Think of how clutter builds over time if you don’t clean it. If you keep piling it up, eventually it’ll become overwhelming.
The best thing you can do for yourself (and others) is allow yourself to feel and bring all of your emotions to God.
{RELATED POST: How To Deal With Emotions In A Healthy Way: 5 Biblical Strategies}
2. Pray And Talk To God About What’s Going On
Proverbs 29:11 AMPC-A [self-confident] fool utters all his anger, but a wise man holds it back and stills it.
Venting your anger to a person who wronged you or a person who isn’t equipped to carry the weight, will make you feel even more alone.
Instead, give the anger to God. He invites you to come to Him if you are heavy laden and weary and His promise is to give you rest (Matthew 11:28 AMP).
Even if you aren’t able to speak, you can always write how you feel in a journal.
Sometimes just getting it out in a safe space is best.
3. Be Ready To Take Accountability For Your Actions
Matthew 7:3-5 AMPC-Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that is in your brother’s eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me get the tiny particle out of your eye, when there is a beam, of timber in your own eye? You hypocrite, first get the beam of timber out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother’s eye.
There are some things that were out of your control. But there were many things that you participated in.
Let me remind you Bestie: You are responsible for your actions and your actions alone.
Even if the situation wasn’t entirely your fault, you are now able to respond by holding yourself accountable for your actions.
Let your response be one that allows the pain to pivot into purpose.
Crashing out may have been your response in the past, but you’re leveling up now.
7 Practical Things To Do To Release Anger
All of the above things were pretty practical. Let’s just say these are more ways that I’ve tried when anger arose.
- Take a walk or exercise.
- Express the anger with creativity (drawing, painting, writing, baking, graphic design, video creation, etc.)
- Scream (I love this one lol. Scream into a pillow if you have to).
- Take a hot bath (FAV thing to do honestly! It’s something about soaking in a tub of hot water that relieves stress).
- Listen to some piano worship (DappyTKeys is awesome on YouTube).
- Step away from the situation (Everything doesn’t need to be resolved in a moment. Sometimes it’s best to walk away and revisit later).
- Journal (I kind of mentioned this one briefly, but journaling your thoughts can help you find the root of why you’re angry. It can also help you to express yourself in a clear way without having to speak).
Forgiving while you’re still angry is possible. Remember forgiveness is a decision and anger is an emotion. They’re not the same thing. It’s okay to allow yourself to feel anger as long as you aren’t allowing your feelings to control you.
This post was all about how to forgive when you are still angry.
If You Enjoyed This Post, You’ll Love These:
How To Have A Healthy Relationship With Yourself
Accepting God’s Forgiveness: 6 Keys For Your Personal Healing
Forgiving Yourself: 5 Steps To Forgive Yourself God’s Way
Why Is It So Hard To Forgive Yourself
Rejection From Family: 7 Tips To Move Forward And Heal
Before You Go…Let’s Recap
A quick recap on how to release anger God’s way:
- Feel the anger without acting on it
- Pray and talk to God about what’s going on
- Be ready to take accountability for your actions
If you find yourself struggling with anger even after you’ve forgiven, allow God to take you through the five stages of grief. I pray that this post has helped you. Where are you in your forgiveness journey? Comment down below.
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Always remember that you’re destined to win because He got up!
-Devyn Janae
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