Have you been wondering how to stop self-sabotaging?
Before we begin this post, you need to know that you’re too valuable to be misrepresenting the purpose behind why you were created.
I know that the habit of self-sabotaging is hard to break, but it’s not impossible.
Understanding and undoing the patterns behind self-sabotaging behaviors will give you your power back so that you can live the life you were destined to live.
This post will be all about how to stop self-sabotaging and the signs to recognize it.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
What Does It Mean To Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotaging is like being your own roadblock to success. It’s getting in your own way with bad habits and self-destructing patterns.
When you self-sabotage, you put a wedge in between you, your authentic self, and the very reason behind your existence.
Sometimes, self-sabotage can be an unconscious behavior. You may not even be aware of when you’re self-sabotaging.
If this is the case, I pray that the eyes and ears of your understanding may be open to recognize the patterns in your life.
All forms of self-sabotage can be overcame by putting in the work and following God’s lead.
What Causes Self-Sabotaging Behavior
Even with the best intentions, you can still fall victim to self-sabotage in an area of your life.
Whether it’s driven by an unconscious or conscious behavior, the root of self-sabotage stems from unmet internal needs.
The needs are comfort and protection. Because you’ve experienced pain, your mind wants to keep you from experiencing that pain again.
You must know that you are in control of your mind. It is your job to tell your mind what to do and how to think. There will be times that you’re uncomfortable, but in the discomfort, you’ll find growth.
5 Signs Of Self-Sabotaging Behavior
Self-sabotaging can show up in many different forms. It’s usually directly opposed to a good decision you’ve made.
Let’s say that you decided to pursue the Kingdom by getting in your word every morning. An example of self-sabotage can be hearing your alarm and pressing snooze until you absolutely have to get up.
It can also look like getting in your bed “to take a break” knowing that once you lay down, you won’t get back up.
Here are some signs of self-sabotage:
1. Lawlessness
Proverbs 29:18 KJV-Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.
What laws are you tied to? Do you have any standards for your life? Is there any structure in your life or are you coasting on the waves of the world?
Lawlessness in very simple terms is knowing better, but not doing better. For example, if you know that you need to lose weight, why don’t you have a plan to do so?
Bestie, you know that God told you to get out of that friendship. By faith, you need to do what He told you. No more excuses.
Will it be uncomfortable? Yes. Painful? Yes, but let your feelings follow your faith. When you need God, pray for Him to strengthen you. You don’t have to do this alone!
Tip To Overcome Lawlessness: Give God your feelings and choose to submit to Him regardless of how you feel.
2. Living In Survival Mode
Matthew 6:33 NIV-But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Survival mode is your way of coping with the stresses of life. What are the things that you go back to when adversities arise?
These are the things that are comforting to you that you may have needed in a previous season of your life. Bestie, whatever you do in survival mode, you need to understand that you’re no longer in a place where you need to survive.
Trust God. Lean on His word and watch your real life unfold before your very eyes.
Tip to Get Out Of Survival Mode: Pray. Fast. Trust In God. Lean On His Word. Obey Him.
{RELATED POST: How To Walk In Obedience To God}
3. Resistance
Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV-Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.
In psychology, resistance is the effort to protect your vulnerable self.
Here are a few questions to ponder on:
- Am I afraid to fully invest in myself because of the fear of failure?
- Or is it that I’m afraid to give myself completely to God because I’ve been hurt?
- Do I think that the moment I take the time for myself that everything will fall apart?
- Why am I afraid of my true self?
- What am I really afraid of?
The unknown can be very scary, but trusting God makes all the difference.
Tip To Stop Resisting: Write down all the fears that are feeding resistance and burn them. Then pray over yourself and tell yourself why you’re able to do what God destined you to do.
4. Laziness
Proverbs 6:6-8 NIV-Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.
Laziness is not as complicated as you may think. It’s simply a decision to not pursue something.
You may have your own reasons why you’re operating in laziness, but that reason will result in you living beneath your God-given potential.
Resting is not laziness. There’s a huge difference between you taking a day off and choosing to neglect your responsibilities.
Again you are too valuable to allow yourself to waste away. Do you know the sacrifices made for you to be here?
I know you may be tired of life. It can get hard, but honestly you are built for this. Life can only break you if you let it and still even after you’ll bounce back!
Tip To Overcome Laziness: You’re not giving yourself over to laziness in all areas. Identify the areas that you are and make a plan to begin to let it go.
5. Comparison
Ephesians 4:1 NIV-As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
Comparison is a deadly trap that’s used to get you to focus on everyone, but yourself. It’s the ultimate thief of joy.
Stop looking and fantasizing about if you were in someone else’s shoes and walk your own path. You can live a beautiful life within God’s parameters if you allow yourself to.
There’s nothing wrong with being inspired by another person, but your life is yours and their life is theirs. It’s this way for a reason.
You wouldn’t be able to handle someone else’s load and everything that shines isn’t sensible. Learn to be content with what you have and love the life that you get to lead.
Tip To Overcome Comparison: Take some time to figure out what God has for you and focus on creating your dream life based on what God has said.
How To Stop Self Sabotaging
Promises made are not meant to be broken, especially ones made out to yourself. Here are seven tips to stop self-sabotaging:
1. Identify Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
What does self-sabotaging look like in your life? Do you procrastinate? Are you allowing others to take up too much of your time? Do you get distracted easily?
Take some time to really get to know your triggers and identify the patterns that are contributing to self-sabotage.
Tip To Identify Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Take a week to observe your behaviors without judgment. Pay close attention to yourself.
2. Go To God In Prayer
Honestly, if you could do it alone, you would’ve a long time ago. Ask God to help you with whatever area you’re self-sabotaging in.
You can even ask Him to help you identify your self-sabotaging behaviors.
Remember He is always there to help you and He wants to do life with you.
Tip For Praying About Self-Sabotage: Ask God to open your eyes to what you’re missing.
3. Practice Giving Yourself The Love You Deserve
You deserve love. The first description of love is that it is patient and kind (1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV).
Be patient and kind to yourself through this process of breaking up with self-sabotage.
Tip To Give Yourself Love: Allow yourself to accept God’s grace and love. Practice giving them to yourself before you try to give them to others.
4. Write Out Your Goals Again
It’s not too late to achieve your goals. Don’t allow the enemy to whisper that life in your ear.
What are your goals? Write them down again. It’s time to rebuild your life!
Tip For Writing Out Your Goals: Get a journal and write out everything you want to do. Pray for direction and let God lead you.
5. Take Things One Step At A Time
When you pile too much on your plate, you tend to avoid it or burn out from it. The best thing you can do for yourself is take things one step at a time.
Maybe you’re self-sabotaging as a way to avoid or distract yourself because you’re taking on too much at once.
There’s no pressure to get anywhere at a specific time. Slow down and go at a pace that works for you.
Tip To Take Things One Step At A Time: When you write your goals, focus on the one that sticks out the most and break it down into smaller steps.
6. Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a practice where you become fully present in whatever you’re doing. This practice is great to help you to slow down and think about what you’re doing which can help observe your patterns.
Tip For Practicing Mindfulness: Don’t let your mind drift. Be fully present in the moment your in. Observe the environment using all your senses. Example: What do you see? What do you feel? Describe it to yourself as you do it.
7. Become Your Own Best friend
A best friend is someone who supports you and keeps you accountable. They aren’t critical or judgmental.
To stop self-sabotaging, you need to be a friend to yourself.
Tip To Become Your Own BF: Cheer yourself on with every step. Tell yourself “good job”.
Self-sabotaging will not stop you. You will be all that God has created you to be so believe it.
This post was all about how to stop self sabotaging.
Remember you’re destined to win because He got up!
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