Rejection from family can cut the deepest. If you’ve been rejected by your family, this post will help you.
Being rejected by family can cause a deep wound in your heart. If you’re anything like me, you’ve spent years wondering why when all you ever wanted was to be loved.
The silence, abandonment, harsh words, feelings of never belonging, or being enough is just the start of the emotional weight that being rejected can bring.
I want to speak to your inner child when I say this next thing: Yes, they were supposed to love you unconditionally, but they missed the mark because they are human too.
The rejection wasn’t your fault, but you’re now responsible for your healing. May the pain you’re carrying be released and used for purpose in Jesus’ name.
This post is all about rejection from family.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
What Does It Mean To Be Rejected By Family
God loves you and I know that may be difficult to believe depending on where you are in life. Nevertheless, it’s true now and it was true back then.
While the pain of being rejected is very real, you must know that this doesn’t mean that you’re unlovable or disposable.
You may have had intrusive thoughts telling you horrible things, but none of the negativity, whether spoken or thought, is true.
Being rejected by family means that you experienced a lack of love, acceptance, and support from those closest to you. The rejection could’ve manifested in ways from emotional rejection to full on estrangement.
Whatever type of rejection it was, know that there is room for healing and that you can overcome it all.
Reflection Question: What if this rejection happened so that you could clearly see the One who will never reject you?
The Emotional And Spiritual Impact Of Family Rejection
Family rejection has a greater impact on your emotional and spiritual well-being than any other rejection.
Here are some ways it may have impacted you:
1. Distorted View Of God
1 John 4:20 NIV-Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
How do you really view God apart from what has been said of Him? God created human beings in His image and placed us all on a physical planet (Genesis 1:26 NIV).
You and I are like God in every way except we are in a physical body on the Earth. God is Spirit and so are we.
He chose to make us as physical representatives of Himself, but we still get to choose who we will serve.
Because you were born into a family, who rejected you, you may subconsciously believe that God will reject you too.
It’s extremely important to realize, understand, and will towards the truth of who God is apart from your human experience.
Again, we are all images of God, but we can choose to live out and act in whatever way we choose to.
2. Difficulty Forming Relationships
Proverbs 27:17 ESV-Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
Rejection makes you want to isolate yourself or leave someone before they can leave you. It leaves you in a place where you’re always trying to protect yourself.
On the flip side, however, there are some people who may tend to overcompensate because they don’t want anyone to leave them.
An example of this is people-pleasing which is something that I struggled with to a degree as well. Either way, rejection from family can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and despair.
3. Feelings Of Unworthiness
Psalm 62:5-6 NIV-Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Low self-esteem is common when dealing with family rejection. You may start to blame yourself for the things that have transpired. Or you may fall into a cycle of self-loathing.
What you have to wrestle with and understand is that the rejection wasn’t about you AT ALL. The negative thoughts you have about yourself can be traced back to what was done and said in your childhood.
4. Stunted Personal Growth
Proverbs 3:5-8 NIV-Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.
Personal growth is essential to one’s being, but when you’re rejected it can be stunted. You will find that you’re unable to emotionally connect to people, not because you don’t want to, but because you lack trust in people.
God requires you to trust Him and that means you have to put trust in people to an extent. You can’t get anywhere on your own and the moment you try, you will fail. No man is an island.
You will also find that you may struggle to understand who you are, lack direction, and be a little bit selfish. Again, remember none of this is your fault, but it is your responsibility.
{RELATED POST: 10 Reasons To Trust God}
5. Depression And Anxiety
Psalm 34:18 NIV-The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Depression and anxiety are the two mental health conditions that seem to accompany rejection the most. But they are not all bad. When you begin to think through these conditions, they give you an incredible advantage although they don’t feel great.
Because you’re going through this, the Lord is close to you. The things you are going through are drawing Him closer to you and you can guarantee that He will help you through it.
Depression and anxiety can be looked at as evidence that you can feel and that you are able to overcome like never before. Don’t allow this to be something that keeps you from believing the best about yourself and God.
{RELATED POST: 11 Must-Have Items To Help With Depression}
What Does The Bible Say About Rejection From Family
The Bible speaks to your situation better than any friend or family member could. Let God’s word wash over you as you read and meditate on these verses.
Come back to them each time you feel rejected and watch how you begin to know you’re accepted by God’s warm embrace. Here are twelve scriptures picked out just for you:
- 1 Peter 2:21-To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps.
- Isaiah 53:3-He was despised and rejected by mankind. A man of suffering and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces; he was despised and we held him in low esteem.
- Psalm 27:10-Even of my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.
- Isaiah 43:3-5-For I am the Lord your God, the Holy one of Israel, your Savior. I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight and because I love you. I will give people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid for I am with you. I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west.
- John 1:11-13-He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, those who believed in his name…he gave the right to become children of God. Children born not of natural descent, nor human decision or husband’s will, but born of God.
- Matthew 11:28-30-Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.
- 1 Peter 2:9-But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praise of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
- Psalm 139:13-14-For you created my inmost being. You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
- John 6:37-However, those the Father has given me will come to me, and I will never reject them.
- Isaiah 43:10-You are my witnesses, declares the Lord and my servant whom I have chosen so that may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me, no god was formed nor will there be one after me.
- Psalm 139:15-16-My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
- Psalm 34:18-The Lord is close to the brokenhearted he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
How To Respond To Rejection From Family
The natural response to rejection is to remove yourself completely from the situation. But what if God is using this hard situation to break generational curses through you?
What if no one else was able to recognize it until you came along? In this world, it’s easy to move away and detach. They say things like “you should only go where you’re celebrated and not tolerated”.
But this is contrary to what Jesus did. You are the chosen vessel who will carry this purpose and it will be uncomfortable for a while.
Instead of running from the situation that God wants to heal you in, it’s time that you trust Him and stay planted.
3 Ways To Treat Family Who Rejected You
1. Keep Loving As You’re Commanded To
John 13:34-35 ESV-A new commandment I give to you that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples if you have love for one another.
Just because they are rejecting you doesn’t mean you have the right to stop loving them. You’re character should be changing for the better during this time.
God is using this situation, but will you believe and trust Him in the midst of it? You can have your boundaries set, but don’t follow what culture says when you’re claiming that you’re devoted to His Kingdom.
{RELATED POST: Learning To Trust God: A Guide For The New Believer}
2. Never Match Their Energy
Romans 12:17-19 NKJV-Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good thing in the light of all men. If it is possible as much as depends on you, love peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath for it is written: “Vengeance is mine, I will repay” says the Lord.
Again, I can’t stress this enough. You’re character should be changing for the better. It should be changing for the better because you are going to be going to your Father more and more.
God has you in this situation so He will have the wisdom for you to navigate it daily (James 1:5 NIV). You are different from them and though they can’t see it now, God is working in them as well.
Remember you are in this world and not of it and you are one with Christ. You don’t match energy. You handle things differently.
3. Allow Your Love To Grow
1 Corinthians 16:14 ESV-Let all you do be done in love.
Everything started in Love and love will be the thing that lasts forever (1 Corinthians 13:13 NIV). As you walk with God through this, promise yourself that you will not allow anyone to steal your core ingredient.
God is love and you were created in His image after His likeness. Let the pain that you experience be used for purpose. If you don’t know your purpose, continuously pursue God for it.
And NEVER forget that you are loved. You are so loved and love will grow within you if you allow it to. What’s happening right now isn’t any match for you or your God.
7 Tips To Heal When You Experience Rejection From Family
1. Acknowledge The Hurt
1 Peter 5:7 NLT-Give all your worries and cares to God because he cares about you.
Whatever you’re feelings are towards this, it’s okay to acknowledge them. You’re feelings are your indicators so it’s important to learn to deal with them in a healthy way while processing what’s going on.
It’s okay to cry, scream, go for a run, or whatever you have to do to release the tension inside. Remember that although it may seem like you’re alone, God is in this with you.
Also get used to casting your cares unto God, no matter how big or small. The rejection you’re facing or have faced was not easy so you don’t have to rush through the process of healing.
Take your time and acknowledge how you feel as your feelings arise, but don’t allow yourself to get stuck there.
Follow God’s leading and remind yourself that what has happened is not an indication of your self-worth. You are valuable and needed in this world and this is only a piece of your story.
2. Pray For Those Who Persecute You
Matthew 5:44 AMP-But I say to you, love [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for] your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
If you only love those you deem as “lovable”, then what good is that? It’s easy to love people from a distance, but when they are close to you and you see their flaws, it’s another story.
Your parents, auntie, uncle, cousins, or siblings may have wronged you, but let me remind you that you are God’s child. Since you are God’s child, your way of life is different.
You were sent here with a divine assignment and although these people are close to you, they may not be who you think they are.
Let God use you and get in alignment with Him by praying for the very people who persecuted you. It will be difficult, but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26 NIV).
3. Seek God For Guidance
Psalm 32:8 AMP-I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you [who are willing to learn] with My eye upon you.
This is something new that you’re navigating and it’s okay to admit that you don’t know what to do. God is with you and He is ready to give you the wisdom.
You were sent to this Earth and God already knew that this would be a part of your growth process, so don’t be afraid to seek your Father’s counsel.
4. Process Your Feelings
Matthew 6:6 NIV-But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret will reward you.
Prayer is the number one way to process your feelings with God. You can go to Him in any way because He wants to hear from you.
As you pray, allow yourself to exalt God rather than your feelings. In this way, you will be able to filter your feelings through His word and have more clarity about how to move forward in your situation.
If you aren’t sure what to say aloud, you can always journal your thoughts. I know that journaling is always a way that I am able to process my emotions.
My ideology is that I may not always know what to say, but there are always feelings. If you’ve never tried journaling to process your feelings, I encourage you to try it out.
5. Reframe The Rejection
Philippians 4:8 ESV-Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
What if you were to re-imagine every rejection, but this time from the perspective that you weren’t alone in it? The truth is that God was right there which is why you’re still standing today, regardless of your feelings.
It’s time for you to begin to see that God has always been there and He is still right there with you. It may not feel good, but the pain will be used for purpose and that’s one of the perks of being connected to the Christ.
Let every moment of rejection serve as a reminder of Christ’s power in your life and how He is making you stronger in Him.
6. Remind Yourself That It Isn’t Personal
Isaiah 53:10 NIV-Yet it was the LORD’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the LORD makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
None of the things you have went through are personal. It may feel personal, but all of this is only a part of God’s will.
If Jesus had to go through suffering on this side of Heaven, then you won’t be exempt from it. You can actually rejoice because you are not alone in your suffering (Hebrews 4:15 NIV).
The amazing thing about this is that because you’re sharing in His suffering, you will also share in His glory and His glory is now.
Just remember that none of this is personal; it’s all a part of the plan. You are stronger with Him and many will be blessed because of your story.
7. Forgive Often
Colossians 3:13 NLT-Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Forgiveness is a gift to the other person, but it is the key to release you from any bondage. This walk with Christ will require you to forgive an infinite amount of times.
I’m not sure how you know when you’ve truly forgiven, but I do know that this is something God wants to help us with.
Just because you get angry about it or even sad about it sometimes, doesn’t mean that you haven’t forgiven.
You are human and you deserve to give yourself grace. Allow forgiveness to always come out of your heart even when it is hard.
My prayer is that the words in this post will truly help you. May the Holy Spirit hug you through this post. As someone who is currently walking through this, I am so glad that God has given me the words to speak to not only my situation, but millions of other’s situations. Rejection from family will not take you out and it will not consume you in Jesus name.
This post was all about rejection from family.
Always remember you’re destined to win because He got up!
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