Hey Bestie! Let’s talk about forgiving yourself.
Forgiving yourself isn’t talked about enough. We often speak and preach about forgiving others, but can we really do that if we’re holding ourselves bound to the past?
If we are to love others as ourselves and the glue to it all is allowing God to love us then wouldn’t the same concept apply to forgiveness?
It’s not possible to truly forgive another person if we’re holding ourselves hostage in unforgiveness. We can only extend out of what we’ve received and have given to ourselves.
Loving your neighbor as yourself is a command as well as a principle to show us that we all are a collective body. What’s done for one is done for all; what affects one affects all.
I remember what it was like to hold myself in unforgiveness and how it caused me to view others through that same narrow lens.
Today I’m honored to share with you the steps that I took to finally be able to actively forgive myself. I still use these steps because forgiveness is an ongoing process of deciding to uncuff yourself from guilt and shame.
This post is all about forgiving yourself.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
What Does The Bible Say About Forgiving Yourself
When reading the Bible, it is important to first invite the Holy Spirit in because it’s His inspired word. The next thing we must do is read OUT of the Bible and not INTO it.
What I mean by this is that we must be willing to pay attention, extract, and really think about what is being said.
While the Bible doesn’t explicitly say the words “forgive yourself”, it is implied.
All throughout the Bible, Jesus asks, calls, encourages, and commands us to both receive His forgiveness and extend it to others.
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Here Are A Few Examples:
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against ANYONE, forgive them so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins (Mark 11:25 NIV).
Jesus replied “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40 NIV).
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16 NIV).
Whenever forgiveness is spoken about, we have to remind ourselves where forgiveness comes from. Think: Who is the Source of forgiveness?
Then we have to understand and accept that just as Jesus is the intermediary between us and God. We are the channel between Jesus and people.
Forgiveness has to be received from God, flow through us and to us, and be extended to others. We can’t truly forgive others if we don’t receive the forgiveness from God for ourselves.
If we struggle to forgive others, the root of it is probably based in our struggle to receive God’s forgiveness for ourselves.
Even though the words “forgiving yourself” isn’t found in the Bible, the principle is implied because Jesus gave Himself for the forgiveness of mankind and you are included in that.
Why Should You Forgive Yourself
2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV-Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
The way you see yourself determines your perception of others. If you struggle with low self-esteem, then you’ll most likely view others as if they’re more worthy than you are.
If you’re operating in pride, then there’s a chance that you’ll place yourself on a higher pedestal than others.
In Christ, there is a balanced view of self and others because we’re called to love others as if they’re ourselves.
In the case of forgiving yourself, you want to receive all that God has for you and part of receiving requires obedience.
How could you receive from Him when you’re constantly looking at yourself as unworthy?
Without Christ, sure you’re unworthy, but with Him and through Him, nothing He has for you is off limits!
Forgiving yourself gives you permission to be a child again. Children don’t have to go out and get anything.
They simply receive and give out of their parent’s abundance.
Forgiving yourself also helps you to understand the weight of the cross. Compared to how much Jesus has forgiven and the little that we’re holding ourselves to; it is like nothing.
When we look at forgiving ourselves in light of the cross, we can see that we are being prideful because we’re withholding ourselves from receiving the free gift God has given us through Christ.
It’s time for you to take a step to forgive yourself just as I have to do time and time again.
Reflection Question: If you believe that Jesus has and could do anything, then why wouldn’t He want to help you to forgive yourself?
Once you learn to accept God’s forgiveness, it’s time to give some of that forgiveness to yourself. God gives us forgiveness so that we can forgive ourselves and eventually forgive others. Remember that we can only love our neighbors as much as we love ourselves. The same principle applies to forgiveness. When you’re ready to extend God’s forgiveness to yourself, click the image below to get your Forgiving Yourself Mini Bundle. This bundle is designed for you to start the process of forgiving yourself God’s way.
5 Steps To Forgive Yourself
1. Be Honest With God
1 Peter 5:7 AMP-Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, and all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully].
A couple years ago, I was in my car on my lunch break and I heard God say “Devyn, why don’t you accept my grace”?
I yelled “Because I don’t believe I deserve it”!
That honesty (no matter how it came out) gave God an open door to show me how He had made me worthy of forgiveness and grace.
This wasn’t a matter of me working for anything. It was something that He chose to do and all I had to do is position myself to receive it.
Be honest with God in whatever way it looks like for you. Yes He already knows, but you opening your mouth gives Him permission to help you through the process.
{RELATED POST: Faith Not Feelings: 9 Strategies To Trust God Beyond Emotions}
2. Accept What He’s Done
Revelation 13:8 NLT-And all the people who belong to this world worshiped the beast. They are the ones whose names were not written in the Book of Life that belongs to the Lamb who was slaughtered before the world was made.
I had to accept that there was nothing that I could do to earn God’s grace.
God had already made room for me to receive grace before the foundations of the world.
He wanted to give me grace, not because of who I was, but who was now inside of me.
Christ represented me and my case was won in the court of law. My only job was to accept, celebrate, and eventually testify to others.
Even now if it’s hard for me to accept, I know I can ask Him to help me to accept it and so can you.
Accept what He’s done and if you ever feel as though you cannot, ask Him to help you. This is how you receive. You receive simply by accepting.
3. Extend A Hand To Your Former Self
Colossians 3:12 NIV- Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
The mistake that I had made was based on what I knew at the time. Having compassion for my former self helped me to better understand her.
She wasn’t all bad or all good. She was a human trying to figure life out the best way she could just as I am now.
Why should I have held her on the pedestal of perfection when that wasn’t her place to begin with?
The truth is that I needed her to become the woman I am today.
Extend a hand to your former self by having compassion for them. Once you’re able to accept God’s forgiveness, ask Him for a clear view of your former self.
{RELATED POST: How To Practice Patience Everyday}
4. Be Kind To Yourself
Galatians 5:22-23 NLT-But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!
God in all He knew about me still chooses to be kind to me. It’s not because of me, but it’s because He is remaining true to His character.
He is being His authentic self. If I am made in His image after His likeness then maybe I need Him to help me to grow the fruit of kindness.
My true given character is kindness so I need to extend the kindness He gives me to myself.
Remember just as Jesus is the intermediary between you and God; you are the channel between God and people.
You have to receive, bathe in His kindness, then extend it to others.
Be kind to yourself just as God is kind to you. You deserve kindness.
He brought you into it.
5. Continuously Repeat
1 Timothy 4:15 ESV-Practice these things, immerse yourself in them so that all may see your progress.
I notice in Christ the lessons build upon each other just like in school.
For example, letters form words and words form sentences.
Each lesson is meant to push me closer into my authentic self (Not the self that was molded and shaped by the world, but the self that was there all along with Christ in God).
In order to stay out of the bondage of unforgiveness towards self (and others) you must continuously decided to repeat this as needed.
Kind of like medicine. You take it as needed and/or for preventative maintenance.
Forgiving yourself becomes simpler when you understand God’s principles. As you go throughout life, remind yourself that God is the source of it all.
This post was all about forgiving yourself.
If You Enjoyed This Post, You’ll Love These:
Accepting God’s Forgiveness: 6 Keys For Your Personal Healing Journey
How To Deal With Emotions In A Healthy Way: 5 Biblical Strategies
Unlocking Faith: How To Trust God’s Promises In Your Life
7 Keys To Improve Low Self-Esteem
Why Is It So Hard To Forgive Yourself
Before You Go…Let’s Recap
A quick recap of steps to forgive yourself:
- Be honest with God
- Accept what He’s done
- Extend a hand to your former self
- Be kind to yourself
- Continuously repeat
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Always remember that you’re destined to win because He got up!
-Devyn Janae
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