Dealing with difficult people isn’t something you can avoid so you may as well learn how to handle them with poise. Let’s discuss!
Difficult people are everywhere. They’re on your job, in your family, and even in your mirror. To deal with a difficult person, you must first be willing to deal with yourself. What if the difficult person is a mere reflection or an opportunity for you to grow in an area in your life?
Today, we will be discussing how to deal with a difficult person.
This post is all about dealing with difficult people.
Are you ready? Let’s Geaux!
What Does Dealing With Difficult People Actually Mean
Ephesians 6:12 NKJV-For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Living in this world you don’t really have the option of not dealing with people. People are everywhere and you were created to live and thrive with God and people.
Dealing with difficult people means that you’re learning to navigate and manage situations that may not always be comfortable. These are opportunities to grow and display your God-like nature.
Remember you aren’t fighting against flesh and blood enemies, but you are fighting against principalities, powers, rulers of the darkness of this age, and against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
While you are learning to navigate and manage these situations, it’s very important that you remain true to who God is training you to be.
What if God is using this difficulty to test you? You said that you wanted to be like Christ in every way. This is your opportunity to display what you have been learning.
The person that is involved in this test doesn’t even realize that they are being difficult because they are operating in the way that life taught them to.
Don’t take it personal. Continue to walk in the authentic version of yourself and trust that God has you.
{RELATED POST: 10 Reasons To Trust God: The Answer To All Your Problems}
Common Types Of Difficult People
The word difficult is subjective. It’s based on what you think difficult is. While definitions of a difficult person may vary, I do want to give some characteristics of a difficult person to help you understand yourself and the person that you may be encountering.
Here are five different types of difficult people you may encounter:
1. The Controlling Type
This person wants it their way or no way. It can be very difficult managing a relationship with this person because the truth is love doesn’t demand it’s own way.
Because you are aware of what love is and how it is displayed, it is your responsibility to pray and ask God how to navigate this specific person.
Tip To Deal With A Controlling Person: Recognize that the controlling person is operating out of fear. What you can do is set boundaries and keep your mind open to what God may be teaching you through this person.
2. The Aggressive Type
This person is very combative at times. You may not even want to be around this person because of their behavior.
When you do encounter this person, you need to remember that you don’t have to match their energy. It’s okay to be yourself and let that person “win” if that’s what they need. You know that it isn’t a competition and fire against fire doesn’t put out a flame.
Tip To Deal With An Aggressive Person: Never meet aggression with aggression. Practice being gentle, yet stern. Walk away when needed.
3. The Sensitive Type
This person can be fragile in areas, but that doesn’t mean they’re weak. When dealing with this person, you may struggle to find the right words to avoid hurting their feelings.
Instead of feeling like you’re walking on eggshells around them, lean into their sensitivity when necessary. Be empathetic because maybe they dealt with an overly critical parent or they’re releasing their trauma little by little.
You never know what a person is dealing with and it takes an immense level of strength to be vulnerable in this day and age.
Tip To Deal With A Sensitive Person: Be mindful of your words and have grace. This is your opportunity to use wisdom and discretion in your speech.
4. The Gaslighting Type
This person is a master manipulator who feels that this is the only way that they can get what they want. Someone who gaslights has been emotionally abused and can be really difficult to deal with because they will attempt to emotionally abuse you.
Although it can hurt, you have to remember that this person is hurting and they want to avoid dealing with their pain. You can empathize with them, but you do not have to excuse their behavior.
Tip To Deal With Someone Who Gaslights: SET YOUR BOUNDARIES and call them on their behavior when necessary.
5. The Throw You Under The Bus Type
This person has been taught that it’s either them or you. They can’t help that they’ve been cut before and they may feel that this is the only opportunity they are worthy of.
It has nothing to do with you. It’s all about how they are feeling inwardly, but you can deal with this person with poise as well.
Tip To Deal With Someone Who Throws You Under: Be observant and remember everyone doesn’t need to know everything going on in your life. You can avoid certain situations by adhering to the Holy Spirit’s guidance and keeping your mouth closed.
5 Strategies For Dealing With Difficult People
Dealing with difficult people takes an immense amount of patience. It also takes love. You won’t ever be able to deal with difficult people properly, if you don’t have a healthy relationship with God and yourself.
This life is all about learning and experiencing God in the familiar and unfamiliar. Dealing with difficult people is a way God can reveal himself to you and allow you to see yourself as well.
1. Remember You’re Loved (And This Person Is Too!)
Proverbs 10:12 NIV-Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all wrongs.
Understanding who (and what) you are is the key to learning how to deal with difficult people. Once you’re able to see yourself in that person, you can navigate their expression a little easier.
Like you, the difficult person is made in the image of God after His likeness (Genesis 1:26 NIV). They are spirit, with a soul, inside of a body.
They are loved by God just as much as you are. Remember, people come from many backgrounds, traumas, and environments that aren’t like yours.
Everyone’s experiences and responses to life will be very different. All of us are difficult to some degree. We each operate in the way life teaches us until we get under the leadership of our Lord and Savior.
A Great Way To Remind Yourself That You’re Loved Is Through Daily Affirmations. Download Your Free Self-Love Affirmation Cards HERE.
2. Reframe Each Encounter
Galatians 5:22-23 NIV-But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against these things there is no law.
God may not have orchestrated this difficulty, but He will use it. Let every difficulty be reframed by asking: “God, what are you trying to teach me”?
Every encounter is an opportunity for you to grow some fruit. These fruit are supplied by the Spirit and they will be seen through your actions.
3. Be Mindful Of Your Conduct And Speech
Colossians 4:6 NIV-Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
When you practice speaking with kindness and having discretion with your words, the difficult person becomes another person you get to be yourself with.
Don’t lose all that you’ve worked for in one moment because someone else isn’t aware of who they are. Be an example of what the grace and kindness of God looks like.
4. Never Match Energy
Proverbs 15:1 NIV-A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Again, always remain true to who God is teaching you to be. Be who you really are in Him. Just because someone else is being difficult (whether ignorantly or purposely) doesn’t mean you have to lose yourself in their madness.
Protect your energy or guard your heart as the Bible would say (Proverbs 4:23 NIV).
5. Remain True To Who You Are (Walk Away When Necessary)
James 3:18 NIV-Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.
Everything in life goes back to whose you are and who you are. This entire post points not to the other person, but puts the focus back on you.
You have to realize that life is about learning, growing, and manifesting your entire being onto this Earth. God sent you here to display His character in the flesh and difficulties are the way He chooses to draw Himself out of you.
It’s up to you to choose to follow the teachings of the world or the teachings of Jesus.
Dealing with difficult people isn’t something you can avoid. Remember that every encounter with a difficult person is to learn from God and learn more about yourself. Let every difficult moment push you closer to God and self. I hope that you found this post helpful and we would love to hear from you! Feel free to comment down below.
This post was all about dealing with difficult people.
Always remember you’re destined to win because He got up!
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