Hey Bestie! Today we’re going to talk about how to let go of a friendship.
Have you ever felt that your needs weren’t getting met in a friendship? Ever felt drained, frustrated, or unappreciated in a friendship?
Unfortunately, not all of your friendships are meant to last forever. Sometimes there are clear signs that your friendship is coming to an end.
A popular quote is “some friendships are in your life for a reason and some are just there for a season”.
So far this quote has been proven true in my life. What about yours?
This post will be all about how to let go of a friendship.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
7 Signs Of A Bad Friend
The term toxic is generally thrown around to identify someone who isn’t good for you. One of the key indicators of a bad friend is when you constantly feel drained, frustrated, and unappreciated around them.
There are a couple of common signs that occur when a friendship is no longer serving you in a positive way. More than likely, you always know when a relationship needs to end, but sometimes you just need a little reassurance.
In no particular order, here are some common signs of a bad friend:
1. You Have To Be Inebriated To Be Around Them
Let’s be honest, social drinking and smoking are a thing. Many times people think that they have to do these things in order to have fun.
If you find yourself always feeling the need to have to drink or smoke just to be around a person, then you need to move far away from them.
In other words, it’s time to move on from the friendship!
2. They’re A Bad Influence
This can go hand in hand with the first one listed, but drinking and smoking isn’t the only influences a bad friend can have on you. Does your friend encourage you to do other things that go against the nature of who you are or who you’re trying to be?
Do they encourage you to do bad things rather than good things?
Are you trying to become a better person, but you’re finding it incredibly difficult to do so while being friends with that person?
They just might be a bad influence on you.
3. There’s No Support Or Encouragement
Typically bad friends are very one sided. You’re usually the one who gives them all the support and encouragement they need, but you get none in return.
If you’re in a friendship where you don’t get any encouragement or support, then a conversation should be had between you and your friend.
4. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
Your boundaries matter, but you have to be the one to communicate them in order to feel safe, loved, and respected in your friendship.
It’s normal to have to reiterate your boundaries, through communication and action, but some people will still try to violate your boundaries.
This is when you have to decide to either continue or end the friendship.
5. You’re Always “The Butt Of The Joke” To Them
It’s normal for friends to make fun of each other from time to time, but it should always be in love. If you’re always the center of a joke within your friendship and it’s starting to bother you, you need to say something.
If you’ve expressed how this makes you feel and it hasn’t been received and/or hasn’t stopped then you know what to do.
6. They’re Passive Aggressive
A passive aggressive person is someone who will deny something with their lips, but show it through their behavior. For example, if your friend chose to constantly bring up issues from the past, but deny that they’re upset about said issue; they’re displaying passive aggressive behavior.
If your friend doesn’t clearly communicate that they have a problem and it’s starting to effect the friendship, then it may be time to call it quits.
7. They Don’t Bring Out The God In You
When you’re around your friend, do they bring out the best in you? So many times we forget that because we came out of God, there’s god-like qualities in us.
Don’t forget that God created you in his image after his likeness (Genesis 1:26 ESV). This means that you’re essentially a little god.
- Since he is God…you’re a god (Deuteronomy 10:17 ESV).
- Because he is Lord..you’re a lord (Deuteronomy 10:17 ESV).
- He is King so you are a king/queen (Revelation 17:14 ESV).
There are many other qualities and characteristics that you have from God like those found in Galatians 5:22-23 ESV. Does your friend pull any of these fruit out of you?
If they don’t then maybe you should begin to contemplate if they belong around you. When a relationship has run its course, we have to let it go.
What Does It Mean To Let Go Of Someone
To let go of someone means to detach from them, and reattach to God and self. It’s accepting that this person isn’t supposed to continue on the journey of life with you.
The acceptance is letting go. It has to happen in your mind before it happens in the physical.
Often times, we can feel an innate responsibility for the other person’s well-being or we can use the person as a way to avoid ourselves. If you’re struggling with letting go, ask yourself what you’re afraid of?
How To Let Go Of A Friendship
Let’s be honest: Breakups can hurt like hell. A heartbreak is like physical pain to the brain. This is because you are a spirit with a soul inside of a body. You’re a holistic being.
When you feel pain in one part of your being then the manifestation of it will eventually show up in all parts of you.
For example, if you had a traumatic experience in water then you might have anxiety when you go near water or even think about that moment.
To let go of a friendship , you’ll have to do some Soul C.A.R.E.
What Is Soul C.A.R.E
1. Cast
1 Peter 5:6-7
So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
To cast means to throw or place upon. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God by casting your cares unto him because he really does care about you holistically.
He wants you to trust him enough to tell him about the situation and how you feel as you would a friend.
2. Acknowledge
Psalm 34:18-19
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed. The righteous person faces many troubles, but the LORD comes to the rescue each time.
God is always there to help you, but he allows you to tell him where it hurts just like a physician. Suppressing your hurts won’t help you, that’ll only guarantee that it’ll resurface at a later time.
Acknowledge your feelings for the person you were in a relationship with. Also acknowledge the part you played in the friendship ending. It’s important that you take responsibility for your actions as well.
For example, you chose to be in the relationship. This is not blaming yourself… it’s aiding your healing.
3. Renew
Romans 12:2
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Renewing your mind is the most important part of Soul C.A.R.E. (Check out the post here).
4. Emerge
The final part of Soul C.A.R.E is emerging. When you emerge, you’ll have to move completely away from any negative or unforgiving thoughts to the best of your ability.
You’ll have to make the decision to believe that you’re loved and that this person was not meant to be in your life.
Taking C.A.R.E of your soul is a process so take it slow. You don’t want to rush through your healing.
When To Fight For A Relationship And When To Let Go
There’s a rise of people cutting others off, divorcing, and ghosting people. Even though our post is about friendship, I want to take the time to write on marriage.
Marriage is nothing to take lightly. It’s so much deeper than the marriage license and the ceremony that happens in the physical.
Marriage is a covenant (contract) between you, God, and the person you’re marrying. While there are circumstances that are means for divorce many people leave or want to because it gets tough.
Let me tell you something Bestie: you don’t grow apart in a marriage. So many people use growing apart as means for divorce.
Do you know that when you marry someone your joining years of differences together? For instance, if you’re twenty-seven and your spouse is thirty; that will be fifty-seven years in one house!
You have to continue to date, learn, and grow with your person because the person you stand at the alter with will not be the same person you live with. Why? Because you’re both supposed to be growing and maturing. And you grow and mature at different rates.
Fight for your marriage by fighting against the things that are trying to come against your marriage, not each other.
How To Know When To Let Go
You know it’s time to let go when the grace has lifted off the relationship. By you being an energetic being, you know when its time to call it quits.
Before you act though, you need to pray about it and wait for an answer. If the friendship is abusive in any way, then you should leave immediately.
The purpose of a relationship is to fulfill the cosmic energy of creation. It’s to further God’s will which is to get Earth colonized with Heaven’s influence.
This post was all about how to let go of a friendship.
Remember you’re destined to win because He got up!
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