Hey Besties! Have you been searching for how to deal with emotions in a healthy way?
Bestie, can you imagine a world where you had no emotions? I think that world would be pretty awful.
Emotions and feelings are beautiful because they came from God. He literally made you and I emotional beings.
Maybe you’re like me and you sometimes wish you can turn your emotions off. You may feel like you’re “too emotional” and say things like “why do I cry so much or why am I always angry”?
Do you notice that you never want to turn off or run away from your emotions when you’re happy? It’s the emotions that cause you to feel challenged, hurt, or out of control that you want to run from or turn off.
We have to learn how to accept that although our emotions go up and down that we don’t have to follow them. What you feel shouldn’t dictate your actions or alter the state of your reality drastically.
It’s important that each of us learn how to manage our emotions rather than allowing them to manage us.
Last week, we talked about the five most effective ways to put faith over feelings.
This week, we’re gonna take it up a notch!
This post will be all about how to deal with emotions in a healthy way.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
Facts Vs Feelings
The most interesting thing about your feelings is that they are not facts. You can literally feel like nothing, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you are someone.
Sometimes your feelings can be deceiving. An important thing to do is to challenge your feelings.
This strategy is used in turning a negative thought into a positive, but it can work even if the feeling isn’t negative.
Let’s just say that you had a great week and you finally accomplished the goal you’ve been trying to accomplish for a year. Your feelings may tell you that “you made it”, but the fact is that the mastery of that goal is only the beginning.
Life isn’t a plane ride to a destination, but your feelings will try to make this illusion into a reality along with people and social media.
The purpose of life is more like a series of lessons where you uncover truths about who you were created to be. The real work begins when you begin to spend time alone and face yourself.
During this time is where you will be able to distinguish whether you are listening to facts or feelings.
Choose To Walk By Faith Not Feelings
There will be many times when your feelings will try to override your faith. Honestly, everyone knows that feelings are comfortable and faith is not.
Choosing to walk by faith helps you to relinquish control and put the reins of your life back into God’s hands. This is very scary and it doesn’t help that your feelings constantly remind you that you’re not in control.
Whenever your feelings rise up and make you want to run back to comfort, begin to remind yourself of how true growth is not comfortable.
Bestie, whatever you are going through is only for a moment. Being the only black student in your class is only for a moment. Working out in a gym full of people is only for a moment. Being in that trying situation is only for a moment.
In these uncomfortable moments, you get to see what you’re actually made of. It’s only on the other side of it that you get the real fulfillment.
How To Deal With Emotions In A Healthy Way
The ability to experience any emotion is a big deal. God gave us emotions for a reason and he wants us to be great managers of them.
When we try to suppress or we allow out emotions to run the show, we are not managing them properly.
So how do you deal with emotions in a healthy way? Here are five ways that can help you:
1. Feel The Feeling
Being able to feel your feelings is extremely important. If you’re always trying to dodge your feelings, then you will never be able to be your authentic self.
Your feelings are not you, but they will always be a part of you. You don’t want to make a habit of numbing yourself throughout your life especially since hard times are when the real you will be revealed.
You may think that the “good” times are when you are yourself, but it’s the “bad” times where your character is exposed.
This is what we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces character and character produces hope and hope does not put us to shame because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us (Romans 5:3-5 ESV).
I know we talked about “bad” times, but maybe your a person who struggles to feel the “good” feelings. If you are in this boat, I want to let you know that it’s okay to celebrate and enjoy yourself (Ecclesiastes 3:12 ESV).
You will not lose any of your hard work and you do deserve to feel those “good” feelings. It’s okay.
2. Get To The Root
It’s safe to say that many people are living through their past. My question is how often do you declutter your garage? When I say garage, I am referring to your heart.
Once you feel the feeling, you have to begin to go back in time to get to the root of why you feel that way. If you find yourself sad all the time, begin to think about why.
Why do you always speak about “good ole days”? What about what you’re doing now?
It’s time for you to get to the root so that you can understand why you’re living with those specific fruit. (Ps. You don’t want to miss this episode of the podcast. We’ll be discussing this in depth!)
3. Acknowledge Your Avoidance Patterns
What is the things that you go to to numb your feelings? Many refer to it as “taking the edge off” after a long day.
These things need to be identified so that you can deal with your emotions in a healthy way.
Some avoidance patterns could be binge watching tv, constantly on the move, talking on the phone for hours, neglecting alone time, not reading the Bible or praying, drowning yourself in music, overeating, excessively exercising, and more.
Begin to identify what you do to numb your feelings.
4. Witness Yourself Without Judgment
Besties you have to give yourself a break. You have been through so much and judging yourself will only bury you deeper into the hole of self loathing.
When you are in the moment of responding with your feelings, begin to see yourself as the child you once were. There is a reason behind why you respond the way that you do.
It may be because this was the only way you could survive! This is why getting to the root of your feelings is so important.
5. Reparent
Reparenting is a technique in psychology that refers to an adult seeking to understand the needs of their inner child while becoming the parent that they needed.
You may not have been handled in a way that you needed to be handled as a child. I’m more than sure that you have thought back to times and said “If it were me, I would’ve handled it this way”.
This is your time to see yourself as a child and give yourself what you knew you needed. For example, your parent(s) may have coddled you, but you needed them to allow you to make your own mistakes so that you could learn.
Dealing with your emotions in a healthy way takes work. You will need to be honest and willing to look in the mirror.
There are going to be times in your journey where you will have to relive some moments that may not have been the best. There’s also going to be moments when you will want to run back to those unhealthy patterns.
Choose in these moments to pull on the facts and walk by faith. None of this will be comfortable, but God is the Source of all comfort and he will be with you every step of the way.
Don’t be afraid to ask him for help!
This post was all about how to deal with emotions in a healthy way.
Remember you’re destined to win because He got up!
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