So you’re wondering how to have a healthy relationship? It’s pretty simple because it all starts with love. Are you ready to learn all about love and healthy relationships? Let’s geaux!
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Love is the core ingredient of our existence. Without love, we are nothing. Now I know what you’re thinking: “I do love him/her, but that doesn’t seem to be enough”.
Have you ever thought about your concept of love? What is love? You can’t define love yourself because you didn’t create it.
Love existed before you were a thought in your parent’s mind. In fact, it existed long before the world began.
Love knew you before you were in your mother’s womb and declared that you’d be a prophet of the nations (Jeremiah 1:5).
Love lived, died, and rose again to cleanse you so that the Kingdom of heaven would be placed back inside of your heart. Love thought of everything including the definition of love.
Bestie culture can’t give you the definition of love; Kingdom has to.
What Is Love
There are only three things that will last forever: hope, faith, and love. Love is the greatest of the three. It doesn’t matter how great you think you are; without love you are nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends(1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
Do you love yourself? Are you patient and kind to yourself? Or are you arrogant and rude towards yourself? Do you insist on your own way or do you lay down your will for God’s?
Is there any resentment you are holding towards yourself? Do you get angry with yourself for making mistakes or not knowing enough?
Are there times when you make fun of yourself to fill the void of pain? Do you call yourself foul names like stupid or dumb? Why don’t you love yourself?
Bestie, this is the definition of love given by Love himself. We have to work towards giving ourselves love in this way.
This way of love will leave the most important parts of you satisfied; your soul and your spirit. You can’t live by just “loving” your body because what you now see will pass away.
How To Have A Healthy Relationship With Yourself
Again, do you love yourself? Not in the way of buying yourself things and making sure you look good because that’s not love in its entirety.
In fact love has zero to do with how you look! Love is all about understanding yourself. Besties, you are not just your body. You are a trinity just like your Father.
You’re made up of spirit, soul, and a body. To understand yourself, you have to nurture the realest version of yourself which is your spirit.
In order to have any healthy relationship, you have to realize who you are. Who are you at your core?
The greatest commandment is to love the Lord, your God with all your heart, mind, and soul and the second but equally important is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39).
You will never be able to love anyone if you do not first love God and then love yourself. A healthy relationship doesn’t exist if this order is not fulfilled.
To love is to become loved. If God is Love and you came out of him then that means that you are loved. You are his junior.
{RELATED POST: THE PREREQUISITES TO HAVING RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHERS}
Healthy Relationship Checklist:
There are a few things that were listed to have a healthy relationship that were previously mentioned. I’m going to give you five must-haves for your checklist.
1. Knowledge
When you have knowledge, you have light in a particular area. It’s almost as if you are in a dark place and the lights are turned on.
This is what it means when someone says you were blind, but now you see. Having knowledge about where you come from and who you are is crucial to having a healthy relationship with anyone, especially yourself.
Do you know where you came from? Or should I say who you came from?
Genesis 1:26 says Let us make human beings in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the heavens, over the livestock, over all the earth, and every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.
You are of God and you came from God. The very nature of God is in you!
2. Understanding
Understanding comes after knowledge. The knowledge imparted isn’t yours until you receive it. God created you for a specific purpose.
While I can’t tell you what his original intention is for you; I can tell you your general purpose. You are here to make earth look just like your home country.
Because you came out of God; your home country is heaven. Heaven is not only a country, it is also a kingdom. And you Bestie are an heir (if you’ve accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior).
And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God’s glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share in his suffering (Romans 8:17) .
3. Connection
There’s a principle I learned from the late Dr. Myles Munroe that I would like to share with you. “Whatever a thing comes from, it has to remain in connection with”.
For example, fish come from the water so it has to remain in connection with the water in order to survive. If you take a fish out of the water, it will eventually die.
The same law applies to plants. Plants have to remain in connection with the earth. You also have come from Someone who you have to remain in connection with.
In order for you to walk in your dominion, you have to be connected with God. Do you know what God meant when he told Adam he’d die if he ate the fruit?
He didn’t mean a physical death. He meant that he’d lose connection with Heaven. It’s extremely important for each and every creation to remain in connection with what they’ve been created from including us!
The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10).
4. Grace
Grace is the unmerited, undeserving favor, and kindness of God. Sometimes grace is more easy to receive than it is to give. My definition of grace is “waived forgiveness”.
How often are you giving grace to yourself? There was a time in my life where I couldn’t give grace because I couldn’t receive grace.
I thought I had to earn God’s grace through works, by being perfect. When I realized that God wanted to give this to me just because I was his, I was able to receive it and give it to myself.
Giving grace to yourself could be taking your time with learning something or not being so hard on yourself when you mess up.
5. Trust
Spending time alone with yourself is essential to having healthy relationships. When you start to hang out with yourself, you begin to trust yourself more and more.
Trust doesn’t come unless you feel safe, secure, and sure of your identity and position. Two ways to begin to trust yourself is to spend time alone with yourself and practice keeping your word to yourself.
The more you practice these things, the more your trust will grow.
How Do You Feel About Yourself
Any healthy relationship will come down to this question: How do you feel about yourself? Many of us never stop to answer this question because facing ourselves can be really scary.
I want you to take inventory of the way you treat yourself and others. Your actions toward yourself and others are a reflection of how you actually feel about yourself.
Besties! You can have a healthy relationship. Matter of fact, you can have many healthy relationships! You have to have Love, however.
Love existed before you and I were ever a thought. Love is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast or is arrogant or rude. Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but it rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. It never ends.
Remember you are destined to win because He got up!
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