Hey Bestie! Are you afraid to be alone?
Most of you would probably answer no, but I’d like to challenge that with this blog.
I remember thinking that I wasn’t afraid, until things started to shift. If you are afraid, then you need to know that this is nothing to be ashamed of. Matter of fact, you are never really alone!
This post will be all about being afraid to be alone.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
Why Am I Afraid To Be Alone
Being alone is commonly frowned upon in our society. Most of us don’t even feel comfortable sitting alone in public. Think about how quick you are to pull out your phone to avoid the awkwardness.
You probably don’t ever have anything to do on your phone when you pull it out. Just flipping through apps or checking your email or forcing yourself to text someone just to feel like you have someone.
Yep, it gets the best of us all, but it doesn’t have to anymore.
What I want you to think about is why are you afraid to be alone.
Solitude Vs Loneliness: What’s The Difference
Being alone does not mean you are lonely. Let me say it again for the Besties in the back. Being alone does not mean you are lonely.
Why do you worry so much about what others will think if they see you alone?
Do you know that walking alone can be more powerful than walking with a crowd? Don’t get me wrong, you are meant to do life with people, but not at the expense of losing yourself.
Solitude is a necessity. Ask Jesus! There were several times when Jesus withdrew to be alone according to the Bible.
Why do you think that is? Do you think that Jesus withdrawing meant that he was lonely?
Let’s define loneliness. Loneliness is an emotional state where you feel disconnected to others. It can be the times when you want to connect with someone and no one is available or when you simply feel isolated.
Solitude on the other hand just means to be physically alone. It is often associated with the quiet.
Solitude can be looked at as your ally rather than your enemy. It forces you to face yourself.
Facing yourself can be very scary especially when you are used to being around others 24/7.
In fact, when you surround yourself with friends, family, and others. It’s so easy to get lost in the noise, Bestie.
You’ve been wondering why you have been so drained. It’s probably because you need some solitude.
Bestie, you need to learn who you are apart from people. You’ve been trying to hear God, but you can’t with all the noise surrounding you.
It’s time for you to get some solitude. This is your sign.
Is It Normal To Need Alone Time?
The answer to this question is hell yeah. Everyone needs to take time for themselves.
Again, Jesus our Bestie Forever withdrew often. This alone tells us everything we need to know.
Even if you’re married and have lots of people around you, guess who you spend the majority of your life with?
YOURSELF!
If you cannot cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself, you will not be able to form or maintain healthy relationships with others.
You can only pour out what you’ve been given.
The greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind (Matthew 22:37).
The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these”(Mark 12:31).
You have to love God, then yourself and then others. There is no other way around it.
Why Is It Important To Spend Time Alone
Spending time alone helps you get out of your comfort zone. Let’s be honest Bestie, we LOVE our comfort zones, but honestly we can’t grow in comfort.
There is no way to be comfortable and grow at the same time.
Getting to know yourself may be one of the most uncomfortable things you ever do but don’t you want to find out who you were created to be?
You are aware that you were created on purpose, with purpose, for a purpose right?
No matter your age, sign, or sex; if you are breathing right now you can find out why you were created.
All you have to do is get a little uncomfortable with the Source of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3).
He wants to introduce you to you.
I Hate Myself So Much It Hurts That’s Why I’m Afraid To Be Alone
Just a couple months ago I was in this spot. I didn’t know it though. It wasn’t until I got alone and looked at myself in the mirror that I realized that I hated myself.
This feeling of self hatred can be subtle to the point that you see everyone else, but yourself.
Have you ever found yourself trying to find anything to do so that you don’t have to sit alone?
For many of us the expression “you are your own worst enemy” holds a lot of truth. It’s a painful reality that can hold onto unworthiness and feelings of self doubt and hatred.
What caused you to hate yourself Bestie?
For me it was multiple things. When I was younger I was sexually abused, body shamed, ridiculed by those closest to me, and just made to think that I was less than others.
My self value was non-existent because I wasn’t reassured that I had value or that people really meant it when they told me that they loved me.
What about you?
Do You Find Yourself Not Wanting To Be Alone Because Of The Hate Towards Yourself
I want to tell you what I discovered. YOU ARE NOT WHO THEY SAID YOU ARE OR DEFINED BY ANY OF THE WORDS THOUGHT OR SPOKEN TO YOU.
Bestie, you have permission to learn to love yourself. You are not all bad or all good, but you are becoming.
You are defined by what God has said about you; nothing more or nothing less.
I know it may be hard to believe right now, but God loves you for you. Typing this pulls on a pain but it also brings a relief because I know that every one of you reading this will learn to love who you are in Christ.
I know that you will be able to face yourself and embrace your inner child like he intended.
Bestie, I want you to forgive yourself right now for not giving yourself the love you deserve. Forgive yourself for believing the lies about yourself and begin to embrace what God has said about you.
Look yourself in the mirror and say “(Diane), I forgive you” and I love you for you. Even if you do not “feel” it right now, you will. Have faith and know that if you partner with God then you will have the proper view of yourself.
I am a testament to his faithfulness. He was there for me when I was on the floor crying over people and afraid that I would never truly be able to love me.
He is there for you as well Bestie. Believe it!
Who Am I In Christ
You are worthy of solitude. It is in the quiet moments where God introduces you to you. Here is a preview of who you are in Christ. You can find the pdf version here.
I am a new creation in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
I am a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that I may proclaim the excellencies of him who called me out of darkness into his marvelous light (1 Peter 2:9)
I am holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined me for adoption to himself as a son through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:4-5).
I am created in God’s image after his likeness (Genesis 1:26).
I am precious in God’s eyes, and honored, and loved (Isaiah 43:4).
Bestie, you are beyond loved. You deserve to get to know the beautiful creation that is you. It is time for you to allow God to do the inner work as you spend time alone with him. After this, you will no longer be afraid to be alone.
Remember you are destined to win because He got up!
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