Hey Bestie! Have you been wondering how to stop self sabotaging? If you’ve felt this way, you just may be.
Before we begin this blog, you need to know that you are too valuable to be misrepresenting the purpose behind why you were created.
I know that the habit of self sabotaging is hard to break but together with God even this is possible. In order to receive your new found freedom, you need to believe that this is possible for you.
No longer will you be your own worst enemy.
How many promises have you made to yourself over the course of this year? Have you been able to follow through on any of these promises?
If you haven’t, then you don’t need to feel bad because you still have time. Take the remainder of the day to take at least one step towards that promise.
Self-sabotaging is one of the main reasons why promises to yourself are broken.
Understanding and undoing the patterns behind the self sabotaging will give you your power back so that you can live the life of purpose you were destined to live.
This post will be all about how to stop self sabotaging and the signs to recognize it.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
What Does It Mean To Self Sabotage
Self sabotaging is like being your own roadblock to success. It’s getting in your own way with bad habits and self-destructing patterns.
When you self sabotage you put a wedge in between you, your authentic self, and the very reason for your existence. Sometimes self sabotage can be unconscious behavior.
You may have grew up in an environment where self sabotaging was the norm, but there is always someone nudging you on the inside saying there is a better way.
The Root Cause Of Self Sabotage
Many times, it is a conscious behavior and you just need a little guidance on how to break the bad habits and patterns.
Whether its a unconscious or conscious behavior, self sabotage comes from an internal need that is often disguised. There are two desires that feed self sabotaging behaviors: Comfort and Self-protection.
Your mind is the most powerful thing that you possess. The funny thing about the mind is that although it longs to grow, it also is opposed to change at times.
It’s like a rubber band that has the ability to stretch, but if the elasticity isn’t worked then it will stay stagnant. Because you are self sabotaging, your mind has been telling you what to do instead of you telling it what to do.
Bestie, you are in control of your mind; you are supposed to tell it what to do and think. Once your mind is conquered, the body can do anything.
What Is A Human Being
Do you know what you are Bestie? You are a human being, but do you understand what this means?
A human being is three different entities: spirit soul, and body. You are three in one just like your Creator! Your spirit is the most authentic version of yourself. Its actually the real you. You do not have a spirit; you are a spirit!
Most times you don’t operate from the spirit because you are stuck in the second version of yourself which is your soul. The soul is your mind, will, and emotions and this is the place where the bad habits and patterns of self sabotaging reside.
The last piece of yourself is the body. Its the only part of you that you can see but its not you. Its more like your shell or your temporary housing.
We will deal more with your soul when we get to how to stop self sabotaging.
For now let’s get into some signs of self sabotaging.
5 Signs Of Self Sabotaging
Self sabotaging can show up in many different forms. It’s usually directly opposed to a good decision you’ve made.
Let’s say that you decided to pursue the Kingdom by getting in your word every morning. Self sabotaging can be hearing your alarm and pressing snooze until you absolutely have to get up.
It can also look like getting in your bed “to take a break” knowing that once you lay down, you won’t get back up.
There are many different signs of what self sabotaging can look like:
1. Lawlessness
You may have heard these scriptures before:
- And the LORD answered me: “Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it” (Habakkuk 2:2).
- Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he (Proverbs 29:18).
My question is what laws are you tied to? What are the standards for your life? Is there any structure in your life or are you coasting on the waves of the world?
Lawlessness in very simple terms is knowing better, but not doing better. You know that you need to lose weight. What is your vision and your plan to do so?
Bestie, you know that God told you to get out of that friendship. By faith, you need to do what he told you.
Will it be uncomfortable? Yes. Painful? Yes, but let your feelings follow your faith.
Practicing lawlessness is knowingly going against the will of God and choosing your own path. These were light examples but there are many more ways that you can contribute to self sabotaging in this way.
Lawlessness is typically when you are living for your feelings instead of for God.
2. Living In Survival Mode
Survival mode is your way of coping with the stresses of life. What are the things that you go back to when adversities arise in your life?
These are the things that are comforting to you that you may have needed in a previous season of your life.
I’m going to tell on myself. When tensions are high and I find myself in an uncomfortable situation, I go back to the one of the only things I had in the womb to soothe me: my finger.
That’s right, I still suck my finger sometimes and this is a habit of survival that I never got away from.
Bestie, whatever you do in survival mode, you need to understand that you are no longer in a place where you need to survive.
If you’ve given your life to Christ you have been born into a Kingdom that has been conferred unto you (Luke 22:29 NIV).
The Kingdom has been given to you to seek, to learn, to explore, to benefit from, and to live in while you are here on this earth.
This is why Jesus said “why do you worry about life: what you will eat, drink, or wear? Don’t worry about these things. Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33 NIV).
3. Resistance
In psychology, resistance is the effort to protect your vulnerable self. Be honest with yourself, are you afraid to fully invest in you because of the fear of failure?
Are you afraid to give yourself completely in the relationship because you’re afraid of getting hurt?
Do you think that the moment you take the time for yourself that everything will fall apart?
Why are you afraid of your true self Bestie? You know the unknown is very scary, but trusting God makes all the difference.
Imagine being a child for a second. You’re in a car and you were told that you are on your way to a surprise. As a child you’re not thinking about the things that could go wrong. You are only thinking about the millions of possibilities of the beauty of your surprise.
There is only good that can come from what God has called you to.
Write down all the fears you have that are feeding resistance and burn them.
Then pray over yourself out loud and tell yourself why you’re able to do what God destined you to do.
This practice can help you to stop resisting and start trusting.
4. Laziness
Laziness is not as complicated as you may think. Its simply a decision to not pursue something.
You may have your own reasons why you are operating in laziness, but that reason will result in you living beneath your God-given potential.
Resting is not laziness. There’s a huge difference between you taking a day off and you choosing to neglect your responsibilities or put forth minimal effort because of your feelings.
Bestie again you are too valuable to allow yourself to waste away. Do you know the sacrifices made for you to be here?
I know you may be tired of life. It can get hard, but honestly you are built for this.
Life can only break you if you let it and still even after you’ll bounce back!
You may be pressed on every side by troubles, but you are not crushed. May be perplexed but you’re not driven to despair. You are hunted down but never abandoned by God. Sure, you may get knocked down, but you are never destroyed(2 Corinthians 4:8-9 NLT).
5. Comparison
Comparison is a deadly trap that’s used to get you to focus on everyone but yourself. It’s the ultimate thief of joy.
Bestie, what’s for you is for you and there is no one else that can have it.
Looking at your neighbors life and fantasizing about how it would be if you got the chance is not helping you.
There’s nothing wrong with looking and getting ideas but the real reality is the weight you’ve been given is exactly the amount that you can carry.
You wouldn’t be able to handle someone else’s load and everything that shines isn’t sensible. Also looking at others as better than you isn’t healthy either.
This is another lie that comparison tells. Why do you think so low of yourself?
That person that you are constantly watching does not deserve anything more than you deserve what you have.
No one deserves anything if I can be real with you. Learn to be content with what you have and love the life that you get to lead.
You are valuable too, but you have to begin to value yourself so that you can no longer fall for the comparison trap.
How To Stop Self Sabotaging
Promises made are not meant to be broken, especially ones made out to yourself. I have one step for you to begin to stop self sabotaging today.
You may be thinking “one step, that’s it” but honestly all of us have to take this one step at a time.
To stop self sabotaging, you need to stop and think through the decisions you make.
There’s many times when you can make an impulsive decision based on how you feel and never think of the possible consequences of that decision.
When was the last time you took the time to write out a pros and cons list?
In the middle of writing this blog, I had a thought to go to a chinese buffet. I haven’t had Chinese food in a while! Come to think of it, I haven’t had a buffet.
The only problem with me going to this buffet is that God set a parameter for me in the area of eating, I am practicing raw veganism, and I’m on a fast.
Bestie I’m going to share with you my personal pros and cons list in hopes that it helps you.
Honestly I don’t have a twelve step process to give you to stop self sabotaging. All I have is this one strategy for now: “The Decision Collision”.
I really hope it can help you on your journey to stop self sabotaging as you walk hand in hand with you Bestie Forever. I’m walking this out as you read this and I’ll share more as I learn more.
This post was all about how to stop self sabotaging.
Remember you’re destined to win because he got up!
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