It’s time to stop negative self talk once and for all.
Your inner voice doesn’t have an off switch. It’s much like background music, always playing even when you aren’t aware of it.
Maybe you feel in control of your thoughts most of the time. But once negativity spirals, it feels as if the music has gone from the background to the forefront of your mind, taking over everything.
These thoughts don’t come out of nowhere. They are often shaped by your past experiences: Things people have said to you, emotional or physical abuse, fears and insecurities, and they can even be passed down from other’s unresolved traumas and energies.
The negative thoughts in your mind can be very convincing, but the good news is that you don’t have to accept them as your reality. You can recognize, challenge, and rewrite the script of your thought life using the tools in this post.
This post is all about ways to stop negative self talk.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
Recognizing Negative Self Talk Patterns
Negative self-talk can be obvious, but it can also be very subtle.
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Here are three ways negative self-talk manifests itself:
1. Personalizing
Psalm 34:18 NIV-The Lord is near to the broken hearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.
Personalization is the belief that you are the blame for anything bad that happens, even when it has little or nothing to do with you.
For example, if your parents got divorced, you may have felt like it was somehow your fault. Your inner voice may have told you “If I would have tried harder or done more, this wouldn’t have happened”.
But personalization is just misplaced responsibility. You were never meant to carry that load or blame yourself for that outcome.
What happened in that person’s life was not your fault. It’s time to quit blaming yourself and release the guilt into God’s hands.
Strategy to overcome personalization: Remind yourself of what you can and cannot control.
2. Filtering
Matthew 11:28-30 KJV-Then Jesus said “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light.
Filtering is when you focus on the negatives and completely overlook the positives. For example, let’s say you’re a very responsible college student who submits everything on time.
This semester you decide to increase your workload. You managed it well, but towards the end you forget to do one assignment.
Instead of focusing on all of your success, you immediately tell yourself that you’re a failure and irresponsible. You begin to regret your decision and think that you will continue to mess up in the future.
Filtering is due to a high amount of perfectionism, along with unrealistic expectations, and insecurity. Who told you that one “negative” erased all the positives in your life?
Perfection is an illusion. The world isn’t resting on your shoulders. It’s more than okay to fail every once in a while. Failure is necessary for your growth and development.
Strategy to overcome filtering: Partner with God to get to the root of perfectionism in your life. Also take some time to slow down and ask God to remind you of all the positives that are happening in your life. Try to pull the positives out of your current situation.
{RELATED POST: Learning To Trust God: A Guide For The New Believer}
3. Catastrophizing
Romans 8:1 AMP-Therefore there is now no condemnation [no guilty verdict, no punishment] for those who are in Christ Jesus [who believe in Him as personal Lord and Savior].
Catastrophizing is very similar to filtering, but instead of focusing on the negative you jump to the worst case scenario.
For example, let’s say you’ve been spending time with Jesus daily but you end up missing one day.
Instead of giving yourself grace, you spiral into thoughts like:
- “God is gonna be mad at me”
- “What if I’m going to hell?”
- “I can’t do anything right”.
- “I’m never going to be consistent”.
Why does everything have to end horribly for you? What made you think that you deserve the worst? Is there any guilt, shame, or fear that you haven’t released to God?
Strategy to overcome catastrophizing: Begin to pray that God helps you to view Him and yourself through the lens of love rather than fear. Perfect love expels all fear. You no longer have to be afraid.
(Check out this message that will help you further along your journey).
Our mental healthy is just as important as our spiritual and physical health. And God cares for every fiber of our being. Click the image below to grab your FREE mini workbook to help keep your mental healthy!
How To Stop Negative Self Talk
1. Recognize
Hosea 4:6 NKJV-My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for Me; Because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children.
Negative self talk can only hurt you if you don’t recognize it and where it comes from. You aren’t ignorant of the negative thoughts anymore so you can now do something about them.
The first step is to recognize them.
What are the most common negative thoughts that cross your mind? Where do they come from?
It’s time to get to the root.
(Want more strategies and methods to overcome negative thinking? Check out this post.)
Tip To Get To The Root: Pay close attention to what the negative thoughts follow. For example, I noticed that when something disappointed me the negative thoughts began to play in my mind.
2. Challenge
1 John 4:1 NKJV-Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
Again, negative thoughts can be both obvious and subtle. Your responsibility is to challenge each thought based on the word of God.
Challenging a negative thought can be as simple as weighing it against God’s word.
It also includes questioning the integrity of the thought and utilizing your emotions (because they can lie to you too!).
Remember you’re feelings are your indicators not your dictators.
Tip To Challenge Negative Thoughts: Write down the thought then find what God’s word says about it. Recite God’s word over yourself.
3. Rewrite The Script
2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV-Therefore if any man is in Christ; he is a new creation. Old things have passed away behold all things have become new.
When dealing with negative self talk, you must remember that you are not the negativity. You are a new person. Your enemy would love to convince you that you’re the problem and that there is nothing you can do about your negative thinking.
Every time you recognize and challenge a thought, you are rewriting the script. An additional step to rewriting the script is affirming yourself.
Practice affirmations that will directly combat the negative thinking.
If the area of the negative thinking lies in worry, begin to affirm yourself with scriptures based around trust.
(No worries, we got you covered. Check out our affirmation video that can help you combat anxiety here.)
Tip To Rewrite The Script: Take things one step at a time. Start with the most reoccurring thought and move on from there. Don’t allow this to overwhelm you. God has you, trust Him!
Journaling Questions To Stop Negative Self Talk
Journaling is a powerful tool of self-awareness. To help you to get to the root of the negative thoughts, here are a couple questions you can use along your journey.
Remember to pray and journal through these questions as if Jesus were asking them to you Himself 🙂
Recognizing Negative Self Talk Patterns
- What are the most common negative thoughts in your mind?
- Are you still holding onto resentment or guilt about a past experience towards yourself or another person?
- When was this thought first spoken to you?
Challenging And Rewriting The Script
- Do you believe this thought? Why?
- What does MY word say about this topic?
- How can you affirm yourself based on what I’VE said?
Having Grace And Empathy For Self
- What would you tell your younger self about this thought?
- How would you advise a friend to handle this negative thought?
- Is there any unforgiveness you’re holding toward yourself?
Embracing Positive Self Talk
- What is one thing you absolutely love about yourself?
- Create 3 affirmations for yourself and recite them daily.
- How can you see yourself the way I see you going forward?
As you continue to recognize, challenge, and rewrite the script of your thought life, you’ll find that your mind will be filled with more positive than negative.
This post was all about how to stop negative self talk.
If You Enjoyed This Post, You’ll Love These:
The Best Method To Overcome Negative Thinking
How To Be Positive Everyday Even When Your Environment Isn’t
How To Overcome Guilt And Shame
Face Adversity With A Positive Attitude: 7 Spirit-Filled Tips
4 BEST Ways To Stop Intrusive Thoughts
Before You Go…Let’s Recap
A quick recap of how to stop negative self talk:
- Recognize
- Challenge
- Rewrite the script
Negative self-talk is done! Can you agree? Which tip from this post impacted you the most? For me, it was rewrite the script because I can get caught up on where I went wrong in a situation. What about you? Let’s chat about it in the comments down below.
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Always remember that you’re destined to win because He got up!
-Devyn Janae
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