Hey Bestie! Have you been wondering how to deal with victim mentality?
Tragedies in life can either break or make you. Unfortunately, there are too many moments when we decide to embrace a victim’s mentality.
I know that you didn’t ask for certain experiences to happen in your life, but that does not mean you’re a victim. Bestie, you are greater than what you know.
If you find yourself in a victim’s mentality, this post is for you.
There are many people where you are that don’t even know they’re experiencing one. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you have to be willing to do the work to break free from this mindset.
You are a victor; never a victim. It’s time to retrain your mind to be exactly who God has made you to be.
This post will be all about how to deal with victim mentality.
Are you ready? Let’s geaux!
What Is A Victim Mentality
A victim’s mentality is when you believe that you have no control over the things that happen to you. It is feeling like the world is up against you. Victim’s mentality causes you to blame everyone for the problems you face in your life.
You can see victim mentalities everywhere whether its on a job, in a family, or in a friendship.
Here are four common beliefs of victim mentality:
- Bad things just happen to me no matter what I do
- It’s not my fault; it’s theirs
- I can’t change it so there’s no point of trying
- Everyone hurts me and leaves me to pick up the pieces
Bestie, you may be feeling stuck, but don’t allow your mind to continue to wallow in victim’s mentality.
10 Signs of Victim Mentality
There are many signs of victim mentality. If you’re not sure if you’re struggling with victim mentality then these signs will be able to help you identify if you are or not:
- Never accepting responsibility
- Negative self-talk
- Self-pity
- Defensiveness
- Always having a reason why a situation would never work
- Living in past trauma and not looking forward to anything about the future
- Lack of empathy for others
- Quick to judge others
- Constantly speaking about negativity
- Angry about other’s good news
What Causes A Victim Mentality
Everyone has been a victim at some point in their lives. A victim mentality is a little different however. Your mentality is the attitude of your mind and the way you think of yourself.
It’s the place you live and respond from.
When you have a victim’s mentality; you process everything through being a victim of the negative actions of others.
If you are suffering from a victim’s mentality, it could have stemmed from childhood trauma.
There are many people who are still living in unresolved moments from their childhood. Don’t worry, this isn’t a bad thing! It’s an opportunity to learn and get the healing you need.
What if your mentality is sourced back to the moments you felt misunderstood, betrayed, or abused? You have been wondering why certain things bother and look you found your answer!
3 Easily Missed Causes Of Victim Mentality
1. Betrayal
A betrayal of trust could cause you to feel like a victim. Many romantic relationships have ended because of repeated betrayals.
It’s sad to say but most friendships end in some form of betrayal also. If you’ve ever been betrayed, you may have a hard time trusting people which results in you guessed it: a victim’s mentality.
2. Avoidance
Working hard is so much harder than hardly working. Are you a person that struggles with laziness? Chasing your dream requires resilience, confidence, trust in God, and willingness to grow.
When you have a victim’s mentality; you would try to avoid your success simply because you are afraid of it more than failure.
When is the last time you procrastinated? Procrastination is a form of avoidance.
3. Manipulation
Are you an attention seeker? Some people enjoy the attention that victimhood brings so much that they tend to manipulate others.
You may not feel that you can control your circumstances, but you know that you can control others through manipulation.
Bestie, I get it. You may not have gotten the attention you needed as a child, but trying to get others to feel sorry for you is not the way to go.
Manipulation may make you feel important and that you have some sort of control, but eventually that fades.
I need you to know how worthy you are. You were created in God’s image after his likeness to dominate your circumstances (Genesis 1:26).
Take some time to go to the One who has always been there for you. He wants you to cask your cares unto him because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).
You are NOT a victim!
How To Deal With Victim Mentality
1. Acknowledge That You’re Experiencing A Victim’s Mentality
First things first, you have to be honest with yourself about where you are. If you’re not able to acknowledge that you’re experiencing a victim mentality, you won’t be able to be free from it.
2. Take Responsibility For Your Actions
There are some situations in life that you couldn’t control. Like if you were abused as a child.
But there are other situations where you played a role in the circumstance. Once you come to terms with this truth and begin to identify your role; you will be on your way to fixing your mentality.
For example, a couple years ago I was betrayed by a friend. I knew some shady things were happening and I even had dreams of the betrayal before I saw it with my own eyes.
I didn’t ask to be betrayed, but I do have to acknowledge that I ignored the signs that were there. This didn’t mean that I had no right to be angry at her or myself for continuing the friendship after seeing the signs.
But to put all the blame on her or myself was not going to be healthy either. Even though I was the one who was betrayed, I had to take responsibility for the part I played in the situation.
Self-awareness and accountability are enemies to victimhood. Acknowledging your actions without blaming yourself or others is enough to dismantle the victim’s mentality.
3. Give Everything To God
You can’t get yourself out of a victim’s mentality. You’re not that strong. Even if you think that you’ve gotten out of a victim’s mentality before, God was working behind the scenes on your behalf.
Give your situation over to God and watch him work everything for your good (Romans 8:28).
There are parts of your life where you don’t remember what happened to you, but God does. Trauma has a way of blocking out parts of our lives that felt too painful.
Only God can tell you what, when, how, and why you developed this mentality.
He can also help you to remain free from victim’s mentality.
4. Understand Who You Are
Bestie you’re not a victim. Your real life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3).
- You are the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
- You are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
- You are a friend of Jesus (Romans 5:11)
- You are a masterpiece (Ephesian 2:10)
- You are loved (John 15:9)
- You are a royal priesthood (1 Peter 2:9).
It’s time to accept the truth of who you are.
5. Give Yourself Grace To Grow Out Of This Mentality
You just learned that you have a victim’s mentality; do you really think it’ll go away fully in a couple months?
No. This will be a lifetime of relearning how to deal with victim’s mentality. Give your mind some time to process this.
As I write this, I have to admit to myself and God that I’ve been in a victim’s mentality.
One thing you must know is that you aren’t alone. If you are experiencing a victim mentality, again don’t be ashamed.
This is an opportunity to grow closer to your Bestie Forever.
This post was all about how to deal with victim mentality
Remember you are destined to win because he got up!
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